beyond all reason

2009-07-14T00:46:00.003+08:00

i figured it was time for change!

tags here will still be replied... although less often now. won't be linking anyone in the new blog (partly 'cause i've memorised the blog urls that i often visit) so yeeeeah.

link, relink, add to favourites (lol) and etc... thanks!

2009-07-07T23:51:00.002+08:00

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

(John 6:68)

Revelation

Formalization a new affection

Institutionalization

Crystalization

And I'm really glad I went down to leader's meeting with Dr AR Bernard today even though I was so exhuasted from school. Awesomeness I tell ya :)

2009-07-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

Mag's famous and I owe her big time for her help for my assignment! She looks like a waitress actually. HAHA

and Miracles do happennnn Ms Amy didn't scream at me for not completing her assignment last week :D Although I got a zero (well okay it wasn't really my fault) it's pretty fab she didn't say much about it lol. Prayer rocks big time.

I think guys who wears printed tees are hot :) Hahahaha

Okay back to drawing the human anatomy. Sigh.

let the floodgates open

2009-07-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

After cg today, I realised my ministry for the past half a year has all been a lie. The whole motive was screwed up. Anyway I'm starting it right again so hello to longer QT.

Thanks Wayne, Mag, Yun, Wes, Fran, Ben and Jo... you guys really helped me thru this period :)

2009-07-02T05:49:00.002+08:00

YES OH MY GOSH THE VIZARD FINALLY APPEARS! :D :D :D :D :D
Ben have you read the chapter yet!! HAHAHA

2009-07-02T05:45:00.000+08:00

omg BLEACH 364 MANGA came out early!!!!! :D :D :D

2009-07-02T05:41:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry. And it's 5:40AM ):

2009-07-02T05:37:00.002+08:00

It's 5 freaking 30 the morning and I'm still awake doing the annoying assignments due at 12pm. What am I doing with my life?! I should be sleeping omg.

ELEARNING SUCKS. PROCRASTINATION AS WELL.

2009-06-29T23:49:00.002+08:00

Omg Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is seriously FAB. Like seriously serious. The visual effects, animation... whooooo. I'm so glad I won that Transformers ticket from SIDM lol. Go catch it! It's good.

I think the people who made the transformers posters are really going for the whole Megan-Fox-is-hot-watch-her thing. I mean, look at the poster above! Megan is totally looming over the lead actor (who played a much bigger role than her) =.= I guess guys go more for sex appeal than action. HAHAHA

2009-06-28T11:12:00.000+08:00

I love my secondary school mates :D They're the ultimate people to be around with!

the rest of them are up on facebook! :)

2009-06-24T10:37:00.006+08:00

You promised we'll go audition together. You promised we'll get in together. You promised we'll appear infront of everyone together.

So why am I the one left behind facing your ecstatic screams when you heard you got in? How the hell do you expect me to react to it? Be happy? Be considerate? No I'm sorry I can't. Not when it feels like you turned your back on me.

You promised and you broke it.

I'm just angry over myself.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

2009-06-23T23:47:00.001+08:00

Yes I totally love Feng Zhu's works 'cos they're absolute awesomeness :)

After 4 days of chalets, I'm so officially tired and sleepy! Reached home at about 230pm and watched Atashinchi no Danchi~ Didn't get a chance to watch it on like, sunday ): And next week is the finale episode alreadyyyy roar. Okay I had a seriously splitting headache so I slept like a log after that and then dinner! whee

Now I have a ton of assignments to be done 'cause I slacked too much (screw procrastination and facebook boooooo). So much for making a timetable and trying to stick to it HAHA. Bet my classmates are way faster than I am... including those that slacked more than me during school lol. I haven't finished ANYTHING! Oh well.

4E1's class chalet at Changi was pretty fun although the whole not sleeping and doing homework under the fan and no aircon was sticky and uncomfortable. HAHAHA. The class went off to see the sunrise at 6 freaking AM (omgzz) and I took lots of brilliant pictures! But the rest of them went back to the house before the real orangyred sun rose and didn't see the pretty pretty sky with me, ally, isaac and ben ):

Which reminds me... pictures will be up on FB after Mag sends them to me :)

I realised that poly students (namely my class people... SU people are cool :D) aren't really like secondary school ones at all... I always felt that there's a hint of competitiveness and not-so-trusting air in class :/ Maybe it's because it's only been a few months and I'm closer to my mates in ZSS. But even beyond that, I think even my church people are so much better than the ones in my class. I'm not saying that I dislike them 'cos I don't. They are pretty fabulous people. Just not close enough i think.

Kinda lazy to blog about everything actually. But Rasa Sentosa Resort beds are SERIOUSLY GOOD MAN. Climbed the big rock at Siloso beach (argh and to think i'm going back there this weekend again. too much beaching) and it was damn nice okay. Talked and talked to Wayne there and well I guess I'm not the only one going thru the crappy stuff in the cg and church. Doesn't hurt to have a friend around haha :) Had breakfast by the rocks and it was windyyy. Imagine open air breakfast whooo. And then buffet breakfast on the 2nd day! :D :D Eat until shuang la can. There were fruitloops cereal and I didn't see it until yun and I were walking out!!! NOOOO ):

I miss scrapbooking with my thickers and pictures and stickers and pretty papers.

OMG YES I HAVE NO SCHOOL NEXT WEEK!!! THANK YOU GOD! AND H1N1! HAHA I LOVE LIFE~

2009-06-17T23:22:00.009+08:00

FINALLY ALL THE PICTURES ARE UPLOADED. WHEW.

I realised that my posts were super wordy for the past few weeks. And NOW I know why! Hahaha it'a totally 'cause nothing picture worthy has been happening in my life (i'm in school like 24/7 pfft) and now that there's HOLIDAYS I've been out pretty much :) Unfortunately today is the day I have to get started on ALL my work... if not I won't be able to finish them on time lol.

Okay so last monday I went out with Xiu, Ariel, Jose, Belle and Mag for sushi buffet~! $24 for free flow sushi and sashimi! SASHIMI OKAYYY DROOL. HAHAHA. So I ate till whaaaooo. I want to go back there again :D Mag brought her DSLR so get ready for a whole load of photos below :}

AND I HAVE REAL BANGS RIGHT NOW! I actually went to the hairdressers and got them to snip it right lol. Tired of the uneven fake bangs HAHA.

Okay so after Sushi at Cineleisure, we went to Bugis to get my conte sticks for school, and then Mag and I headed off to Esplanade to camwhore :D Changed our mind halfway when we passed by Raffles Hotel and started exploring the place instead. Omg it's really cool can. The place has a chill-out kinda area where there's open air bar and kitchen plus lots of seats... I told Mag that I totally wanted to hold my 21st there :) But there's the monehhh issue (well it wouldnt be an issue if I start saving up now) and then the whole big fuss abt 21st birthdays :/ Tiring to plan can. Hahaha

After that Mag and I headed down to the 4 chopsticks (which is a WW2 thing incase you didnt know) :D Or rather I dragged her down there HAHAHA. Anyway we were so tired by then that we flopped down on the grass beside the pavement and road and cars and traffic light and people without caring lol. There were like people playing frisbee behind us! PJC AND ACS PEOPLE! GUESS WHO WAS PLAYING THERE! IT WAS TAYTAYYYY! AND I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM -_-

And then it was off to home 'cause our legs hurt like crazy ):

Okay pictures are up and the first 4 pictures were supposed to be at the bottom but I'm seriously lazy to drag it all the way down. I should really upload photos in the order I want pfft. Okay here goes

Btw I really love my bangs now :D

HAHAHAHAHA and this was total win Y(^^)Y Was trying to renact the scene during Easter Drama this year... and guess where we took this - at a bus stop at ORCHARD oh em gee. There were people staring o_o so embarrasing HAHA

SUSHI BUFFET AND TAKOYAKI AND RAW TUNA AND RAW SALMON AND JELLY FISH AND LOTS OF GOOD FOOD!

Now you see the hand...

And now you don't! :) heeee

I was laughing at this couple lol. It was like they were walking down the DARK DARK path of Marriage. HEE

Okay yes so that was monday! :) More pictures up on facebook... I can't possibly post a hundred over of them here~ It would take ages

Okay last friday during Ms Jeri's class we were camwhoring (as usual) and half of my class was either on facebook or watching youtube videos -_- But no worries it was a free and easy consultation class~ Mag dropped by my school and we had lunch together before heading off to the IT Fair and then to church for BS :)

And... this is Amanda, my extremely retarded friend who's currently dating a guy *winkwink*

CAUGHT ON FACEBOOK AND YOUTUBE HAHAHAHA :D

Okay I thought this was pretty funny 'cause we were doing the peace signs without each of us knowing the other did it. Hahaha and ZP's pic was supposed to be up but because I deleted it 3 freaking times and it screws up the rest of my post so I'm not going to post it anymoreeeeeee

Okay that's all I'm off to bed~ :)

2009-06-14T10:47:00.005+08:00

Holidays?

Design Fundamentals:
Redo 8 weeks worth of work (to get rid of the annoying F grade)
Drawing Fundamentals:
Refining perspective drawing work
Utopian City Creation - A3 sheet worth of thumbnails and real drawing
Audio and Visual:
Video editing of trailer
Communication Skills:
get ICA 3 done for big presentation
Animation Fundamentals:
Redo 8 weeks worth of work (to get rid of my stupid C grades)
Assignment One:
Redo static panels and video clip (OH FANTASTIC.)
Assignment Two:
Hahahaha... this isn't even remotely funny...

What holidays?

2009-06-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

Until the day breaks
And the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankicense.

- King Solomon (Song of Solomon 4:6)

It's funny how everything fits in the end.

Every single question I had for the past few months have been answered by a simple sentence. Why did I go to NYP? Why did I get certain grades for certain subjects? Why wasn't I put into a JC? Why aren't I doing well? It was all so simple after all...

Pst Kong mentioned in the Song of Solomon BS today that each and every single one of us are like bottles of perfume. If we're not broken, the annointing and the sweet smelling aroma in us wouldn't come out. Neither would the annointing flow into our lives. And brokeness only comes after a huge trial we all have to go through.

It is only by the work of God that brokeness comes, and no one knows when this trial will come. But through it all, through it ALL, once we're broken, annointing will just flow out abundantly more than we can ever ask or imagine.

Although it really is frustrating to not know why you're put through this situations, ultimately what Mordecai said in the book of Esther is true. "Maybe you were put here for a reason." It's just like how Mag was telling me that shit happens in life and there might be a reason behind it but we just don't know it. And I told her "Yeah I don't understand at all. I don't understand what's God's reason for doing it . I don't understand why I have to go through it."

After today... I do understand why. And how important it is.

The presence was so strong when knees were bent and tears were flowing. Even guys were crying left right center. The Song of Solomon series is really awesome... it is as if it's the right word for the right season for most of us in the church. I can't wait for the remaining 2 sessions! :)

2009-06-10T18:15:00.004+08:00

Where The Love Lasts Forever - Hillsong United

Your mercy found me
Upon the broken road
And lifted me beyond my failing
Into Your glory
My sin and shame dissolved
And now forever Yours I’ll stand

In love never to end
To call You more than Lord
Glorious friend

(Chorus)
So I throw my life upon all You are
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me
And when all else fades
My soul will dance with You
Where the love lasts forever

(Bridge)
And forever I will sing
Lord forever I will sing
Of how You gave Your life away
Just to save me
Lord You saved me

With You, where the love lasts forever
-----

Love, Kezia.

2009-06-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Words shape our world.

So before I step out of the house every morning I would tell the world that it'll be a bright sunny day with lots of happy and sad experiences that I go through to help me grow, and that I will continue to trust in God even thru the darkest valley!

And guess what... Abigail gave me Kinder Joy today :) Blessings come in little ways, and I thank God for that :)

2009-06-08T22:06:00.003+08:00

Ok I need a break from all the annoying lousy grades, the stupid sarcastic remarks I've made, the betrayal of secrets, the insensitiveness and the effort of making a close friend in school.

Seriously... I want my strong spiritual leader ministry back in my life. Don't like all that's happening now.

2009-06-07T20:40:00.002+08:00

There must be something wrong with me. I SERIOUSLY can't believe I've forgotten to sign up for the YOG co-ordinators slot. And to think I was so enthusiastic about Student Union.

:/ Actually I think it's becoming to the point where it's freaky... I've been forgetting to bring things to school too. I need to refer to my planner more often! (thanks liz for the panda planner btw -HEARTS-)

Well I guess it won't really matter anyway, I'm sure there are more upcoming events for me to SHINE in SU! I'm so totally aiming for Exco. And at least all Bs for my modules by the end of semester one. Animation is a tough course to battle in.

On the up side... Ying lent me her PSP! (: PATAPON HERE I COME!

2009-06-05T23:52:00.001+08:00

For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.

O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret places of the cliff,
Let me see your face,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your face is lovely.

- King Solomon (Song of Solomon 2:11-12, 2:14)

Behold, spring has come...

2009-06-03T22:42:00.003+08:00

I'm totally going to miss my 01 BBC fantabulous SU orientation group members after today!

Student Union meeting was pretty okayish 'cept for the fact that the awesome BBC group has been scattered into different groups ): And lucky to those who got into groups with people they knew already. But no worries, I'll probably be a pretty cool person in my group 'cos its only the first meeting and I've met a nursing person 8D she totally reminds me of the horror ghost story the OGLs told us during the orientation lol. But she's cool :)

OH AND DESIGN FUNDAMENTALS WAS A BIG SCREW UP HAHAHA. In the end I really got my F. Oh well at least I have the 2 weeks of term break to redo it all and aim for at least a B. :) I seriously hope my GPA won't get less than a 2.5 or smth.

So a few things happened today in school and I gave it a lot of thought about the whole OTL situation... and seriously, the whole thing literally drains me of my strength. Imagine you trying to find a needle in Koufu! Or getting your hopes up for the littlest gestures your OTL makes. I rather focus everything on Animation and forget about the whole affair lol.

Ardent love will come in a way you'll never expect anyway. Just look at Elizabeth Bennet and Darcy!

Okay they might be fictional characters but STILL. It exists out there :D

So my heart checkup is tomorrow at SGH and I'm feeling kinda nervous. Hopefully the murmur wouldn't mean anything and that I can find that appointment paper the nurse gave me a few months ago :/ I have no idea where I dumped it. And I feel really bad that I cancelled last minute on Mervin, somehow I got the feeling he's feeling mad even though he says he isn't. Dang dang.

Okay well I don't want to dwell so much on it, thinking too much will increase the chances of getting wrinkles. I shall sleep it all away :) See you around~

2009-06-02T22:28:00.002+08:00

It's already JUNE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!

And what better way to start the month by getting back the grade of your work lol. I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVED A B FOR MY DRAWING FUNDAMENTALS! You are hereby required to celebrate with me by jumping up and down while shouting "BANZAI KEZIA!" for 10 minutes :D

This week's pretty good 'cause I haven't gotten any new assignments so far - that means more time for fellowship on sunday :) Although tmr's Design Fundamentals lecture wouldn't be so great... our term results will be out gah. Maybe some unseen miracle will happen and I'll pass. Maybe. Hahaha

And have you seen Charlie The Unicorn from Youtube?! It's so retardedly stupid that you'll literally laugh your nuts out :D

K class at 8 tmr so I gotta sleeeeeeep~

2009-05-31T23:19:00.004+08:00

Emerge 2009 was a blast! I can't wait for next year... hopefully Spelling Bee will be back :D And if there's a large scale parade of schools with different secondary clusters and polys and universities I'll probably consider joining... I really miss the trainings, the performances, the makeup and the pretty hair! :D

2009-05-30T23:56:00.001+08:00

If you're stressed, nobody gives a shit. So RELAX!

Thanks Ben! :)

2009-05-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

O draw me, o draw me away

Messiah today

In Your presence to stay

Song of Solomon BS @ Expo today... absolute awesomeness. It really took my breath away.

Song of Solomon is a really good book in the bible, it talks about the love between a courting man and a woman. Or like the deep love between Christ and the church. I must really blog about this, everything that Pastor Kong was preaching today seriously shot into my heart... it was exactly what I was going through. Okay lemme just delve right into it before I head off for bed.

Song of Solomon 1:2 - 2:7 talks about the Initial love (aka first love) between Solomon (depicted as Christ) and the Shulamite woman (depicted as a believer). The Shulamite woman isn't someone who was a babe in Christ, but someone who has been serving the Lord for a long time, and is feeling burnt out and tired out from it.

In Ecclesiastes, the book before Song of Solomon, King Solomon wrote about a life of wandering the believer had. How the believer (which is known as the Shulamite woman in the book Song of Solomon) has been toiling all day and realises that everything in the world was just vanity. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. She was in the wilderness, lost and without direction.

In Song of Solomon, she met King Solomon (Christ) who decided to court her. In verse 4 of the first chapter it says "Draw me away! We will run after you." After the slogging out in the fields and being lost in the wilderness, the Shulamite woman cries out to Solomon to draw her in. She's tired of wandering, and she knows that one experience with King Solomon could change her life forever.

In other words, it's like us believers who have been worn out serving the Lord endlessly and wandering around asking ourselves what we should do. Our spirit yearn to have that touch, that experience from the Lord that would change out life that is why we cry out to God to draw us to him.

Further down in verse 5, the Shulamite woman says "I am dark, but lovely... (v.6) Do not look upon me, because I am dark, Because the sun has tanned me. My mother's sons were angry with me; They made me keeper of their vineyards, But my own vineyard I have not kept." The woman recognises that her sins in her were the source of her darkness even though she is beautiful on the outside. She tells Solomon not to look at her as she feels she's too sinful. The sentence that follows after that states clearly that her own life in not kept in proper, but she is taking heed of other people's lives.

This 2 verses really spoke to my heart as I remembered how crapped out my life has been for the past month. I was made keeper of other's vineyards, I had to take care of my cell group members and call them up regularly for a chat or to check up on their spiritual life. It took up so much of my time that I didn't kept my own vineyard, I didn't do my QT regularly and my whole spiritual life went down and burnt out. And because of that I was being shot down by certain leaders (v.6 my mother's sons were angry with me) and I ask myself why don't they just understand what I'm going through?

In verse 7 the Shulamite asks Solomon "Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon." She needs her rest, the Shulamite woman was tired, angry and abused because of the leadership above her that told her to take care of their own vineyards, thus instead of relying on second hand revelation from others (because her own spiritual life in down and out), she would rather experience the revelation herself at the place where "you feed your flock."

Solomon told her to (v.8) follow in the footsteps of the flock, and feed your little goats by the sherperds' tents. To follow those who had really and truely walked the path of revelation and annointing before. Thus he is telling her to BALANCE her life, not to swing to one extreme of burning out or the other extreme of relying on God without a cg, or going for services.

The verses from 1:9 - 2:7 talks about how Solomon compares her with the filly among Pharaoh's chariots (the horses were the best of the best, the strongest, the fastest, yet also docile and disciplined) and how her cheeks are lovely with ornaments (a girl in love blushes!) and her neck with chains of gold (neck = strength, as she returns to the Lord, the strength from the Lord is returned to her :) It also talks about how the glory of God will come upon her (v.11) and how she comes back to her first love.

At the end of it all, she comes back to her first love.

Everything is so insignificant in our eyes except the first love we had. It's like the love for God overwhelms every other love out. It's so huge, so big that it cannot be compared to anything else. So how do we return to the first love? :) Song of Solomon 1:4 says it all.

Draw me, o draw me away.

------

I found out something really cool during the bible study in expo too! :D In Song of Solomon 1:3, the Shulamite woman talks about the fragrance of the ointment that Solomon has (or the attitudes that Christ have) and in the ointment there are actually 3 kinds of different ointments mixed together: Myrrh, Aloes and Cassia.

And... I checked up my name and this is what my name means:

Kezia \k(e)-zia\ is pronounced ke-ZYE-ah. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "cassia tree". Cassia is the generic name for a variety of trees and shrubs, one of which produces cinnamon that was used by the Chinese. Biblical: one of the three fair daughters of Job.

And you know what cassia means? It means royalty and in hebrew, it means to stoop down or to bend down = GREAT HUMILITY :D See, I told you I'm not that ego. I do have humility sometimes okay. Give me some credit la :D I love my name HAHA

And it's really great to make someone's day a pretty good one when you compliment him or her. So thanks Zeke! He said I'm sweeter than a thousand cinnamons! :D You've made my day :)

Alright so I'm off and looking forward for tmr's POS performance at expo~ JIAYOU MAG! Y(^^)Y don't fall off the stage!

2009-05-27T23:35:00.002+08:00

I think that... the decision of step down, or rather to take a break from DG and COC duties, was one that I thought for a very long time. How could I hope to be someone who leads others when my life is in complete disarray?

I have a very funny feeling inside of me. It feels like it's something that can't really be described with words. You feel like crying because you're uncertain, yet in a way you feel relieved as well. You feel sad but there's a tiny hint of everythings-going-to-be-okay in the centre of it all.

As I wrote to Jo and talked to Rachel on the phone, I really felt that funny feeling.

It's like trusting someone out there even though you feel disappointed in Him 'cause He didn't give you what you wanted. But I guess that's just it isn't it?

it's walking by faith and not by sight right?

2009-05-27T20:58:00.004+08:00

Konichiwa minna-saaaaan! :)

School today was thankfully quite okayish. At least I was able to edit a video during Visual and Audio class without screwing up or asking Amanda every other minute on how I should change this to that. I am convinced that I am becoming smarter every single day! Smart + More smart = A smarter Kezia 8D

Woke up late for Design Fundamentals lecture at 8am and missed out the whole lecture about Typography gah. Shucks man, I was seriously looking forward to it too. Dad came in to wake me up at 815 and I practically screamed "I'M LATE AHHHHHHHHHHH" at him before jumping out of bed and running to take a bath. He was really nice to take me to school though. It took him half an hour! I shall ask him to fetch me whenever I'm late now. Hahaha.

Ended class at 11am or so, and then off to meet my Student Union friends for lunch at Koufu! I was actually like, half an hour late 'cos I went to print out the animation notes and didn't keep track of the timeeeeeee. (And I felt bad as usual lol.) But whatever, Wilson was late too so IDONTCARE HAHAHA. So talked here, laughed at Zeke's gay rendition of "Talk to the left 'cause you ain't right" and took lots and lots of photos!

Zeke says I look like a grasshopper PFFFFT. Haha! Anyway more pictures on Facebook 'cause I'm really lazy to upload them up here... it's going to take forever :D But today was really fun, hopefully we'll all meet up for lunch again soon!

Okay so at 3 today I had Art and Animation make-up Lecture till 6pm (but no Art and Ani next week YAYYY) and it was a little torturous to watch Black and White films for 3 hours lol. Charles Chaplin's films are good... but discussions are so draggy and sleepy. I had to draw on my notebook and think about my OTL WHOM I SAW TODAY (8D) in order to wake up and concentrate. HURHUR. In the end I borrowed Wayne's iPhone and watched Bleach on youtube! And then I moved on to rewatch Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. But the quality really sucks so I'm thinking of getting the DVD soon :)

I love weeks where I don't have much assignments to be doneeeee whee. But I really gotta wake myself up and be in the lecture hall in time for lectures man. I'm missing too much information on next week's homework. ANYWAY SCHOOL TMR AT 12PM! Oh what wonderful joy it is to have afternoon classes instead of morning ones~

I miss my brother now... he flew off to US early morning today and I forgot to ask him to get me something from Japan when he stops there to switch planes ):

Ah well. SHALL SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT! THANK YOU GOD FOR A CHANCE TO FINALLY CATCH UP ON MY SLEEP! 8D

Life is a maze

And love is a riddle...

2009-05-25T04:41:00.008+08:00

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing...

Humility huh. Probably. Still doesn't change the fact that it hurts as if a dagger is pierced into your heart.

Thanks Sarah & Mag... You guys helped a lot :)

2009-05-24T00:59:00.004+08:00

You can't see behind that facade of cheerful smiles right? It's because it was exactly how it was intended to be.

I'll make it through the pain

and weather the hurricanes...

I realise that lately my posts has been fluctuating a lot. One moment I'm hyper, the next I'm thinking. I really should be more consistant seriously.

Life is like a emotional rollercoaster right now. I laugh, I cry, I complain, I smile, I rant, I wonder. A million things goes through my mind... too many things. I feel that I'm forgetting something important. So much pressure, so much hurt, so much disappointments. There are so many decisions and choices to make.

Everywhere is a battlezone inside. Or maybe that's just how it feels.

So many things are happening at the same time... everyday I feel like my dream is moving further and further away. A journalist, a writer, a cell group leader, a role model, a inspiration to others - the road to it seems like its disappearing. I'm losing touch. Why? As I lay in bed, I ask myself...

Why didn't God let me into a JC? Why didn't God give me the results I wanted for my O levels? Why didn't He let me go to SAJC? Haven't I been praying? Haven't I been believing? Haven't I been visualising? Haven't I been working for the various subjects? WHY?

Why didn't He put me in a course I wanted? Why did I end up in NYP's SIDM DMDAnimation? Why am I barely scraping through my modules? Why am I not doing what I love? Why am I not writing? Why am I falling? Why did He let me fall? Why do I feel like everything's closing in? Why do I cry more in this past month than my 4 years in secondary school? Why am I feeling so limited? WHY? WHY?!

I'm tired of telling myself that "Maybe you were put in here for such a time as this." I'm tired of telling myself I'm not good in drawing. I'm tired of telling myself I just have to think positively. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of not being good enough. I'm tired of feeling dejected everytime I see Wayne's, Tiff's, Daph's or Amanda's works. I'm not used to this at all... For the past 4 years I was good in English. I owned and I pwned. Now I'm down to the lowest of the lowest. A whole sleepless night's worth of work is deemed as ugly and not good enough, while other's half an hour's worth of work is said to be the best infront of everyone. It's unfair. It's just too unfair.

Dad told me to consider taking a break from DG and from being a COC leader. To be a normal member. To consider applying for another course. I wish I was back in secondary 4. Working hard, mugging hard, laughing, eating, chilling out. I regret so so much. Way beyond what I'd imagined. But there's no turning back. There's no flipping to the the last pages of the book you've read and blotting the ink out.

I feel hard-pressed in every side, but the Bible says not to give up because there's a greater force in me pushing the pressure back. But what if this earthern vessel is crying too much and is begging for the forces to stop?

Kris Allen - No Boundaries

Seconds, hours, so many days

You know what you want, but how long can you wait?

Every moment last forever

When you feel you've lost your way

What if my chances were already gone?

I started believing that I could be wrong

But you give me one good reason

To fight and never walk away

So here I am, still holding on

Chorus:
With every step, you climb another mountain

Every breath, it's harder to believe

You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes

To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere

Just when you almost gave up on your dreams

They take you by the hand and show you that you can

There are no boundaries

I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge

What if today is as good as it gets?

Don't know where the future's heading

But nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line

I risked being safe but I always knew why

I always knew why

So here I am, still holding on

Chorus.

You can go higher, you can go deeper

There are no boundaries above and beneath you

Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you

And your dreams

Chorus.

-----

There are always more chances and opportunities to come right?

Tell me something I need. Tell me that I'm awesome. Tell me I'm above and not beneath. Tell me WHY. Tell me the answers of all my questions. Tell me everything's going to be okay. Tell me I'm not going down. Tell me I'm not making the wrong decisions. Tell me. I have to know. I need to know. I want to know.

I need you now.

Ponder.

2009-05-21T08:56:00.004+08:00

I was bloghopping and I saw something really inspirational from Linda's blog.

"My Life. My Game. My Win. It wont be controlled by someone else."

I wondered how many of us thought that? Yet it's always someone's emotions affecting us isnt it? Using our will power on the front lines, you always thought "Is it enough?"

I really like anime, maybe because its bold and the heroine usually is someone extraordinary. No, it doesnt mean she has to be a princess of some ninja, but it's dramatised. She falls, she slips but she's always back on track with sheer determination and courage. Amazing isnt it? Does the most of us do it? It made me think of my dreams. My long forgotten hidden in a small box dream. When you're young you think the impossible to become possible. Because we didnt understand boundaries then. So now that we know the "limit" that dream has, have you stopped? Has time slowly died; have you slowly come to realise that this is it? Going school, sleep, chatting. All those mundane things, have you ever thought you wanted something more? Of course you have, because that is how we're wired isnt it? The purest of thoughts when we're young, wasnt it because we believed? Then what's stopping you? Fear, doubt in your own ability, procrastination? Sure elements like those hold an major key. Yet it's not the key to your lock.

What is your dream? A dream that you've always wanted.

Because "limits" are something that you've born it out. It's your mindset. The battle field starts there.

2009-05-20T21:23:00.002+08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brillant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?

- Akeelah and the Bee (2007)

I need to start thinking more positively and control my brain again.

2009-05-20T01:07:00.004+08:00

Pictures from NYPSU CAMPG GLUE! (: Shall blog and label them tomorrow. It's like freaking 1am now and I'm still not asleep. Haha okay this post shall be edited tmr, ciaociao

2009-05-18T23:57:00.002+08:00

DMD DA0902 ftw! :)

Okay was supposed to blog yesterday about Student Union's Camp Glue, Zhongping's chalet and service but I reached home at 1245am and was so tired out. It's absolute craziness, I didn't sleep much during the camp (4hrs on the first and second day) and then I pulled an all-nighter when I got home so that I could finish the annoying Design Fundamentals homework. I will never ever leave any assignments till the last minute EVER AGAIN.

And to think I didn't even go school this morning for Animation Fundamentals class :/ I need to sleep early and finish my assignments before going for any other camps or commitments man. DMD is sucking my strength away!

But on the better side... there isn't Drawing Fundamentals class tomorrow! That means lectures end at 11am :D And I don't have to rush the assignments for DrwFd tonight either. OH SWEET SWEET JOY!

Okay so on to what happened the past week! After DrwFd class on thursday, we went out to our block's 4th floor to camwhore as one whole big class :) It was actually just an excuse to take a class photo so that we can give it to Zhongping for his birthday pressie, but we ended doing crazy stuff and camwhored lol. I've put a few up here 'cos the files are seriously big, but the rest are up for FB so check 'em out!

That Wayne took off my Chuck Taylors when I was struggling to get down -_- LIKE MODERN DAY CINDERELLA EH. Hahaha

The 3 Musketeers! Aka toilet gang people :) leggings and shorts ftw btw.

Okay so on friday night I had the NYPSU camp which was fabbb and totally M18 please. I never knew that there weren't teachers in charge until I looked around and realised... HEY IT'S ALL STUDENTS HERE. LOL. There was gay dancing and touching everywhere. And it was sad case 'cos I didn't know we were supposed to attend a briefing before coming for camp lol. So I got dumped into Group 1 which is a pretty fantabulous group to be in! :D

Ran around the school till 1am in the morning before showering, woke up the next morning at 630am for morn PT ): Ran around the track and MAN. I was panting by the end of one lap :/ I need to go exercise man. Alison was proness lol, she looked as if she wasn't using any effort can. Expected from T&F hurhur. Night walk at around 10pm or so, the OGLs told a freaky story about the nurse, army officer and soldier. Zeke was unexpectantly nice, he let me clutch on his hand and I think i squished it too hard when Andy jumped out from behind a wall -___- Slept at 330am that night and had to walk up at 7 the next morning. And to top it all off I had church too. And then chalet and my assignments. HAHA. It was absolute craziness rushing here and there.

All in all NYPSU Camp Glue was good and pictures will be up in the next post :)

After service I rushed down to Pasir Ris for Zhongping's 18 birthday! Wanted to go back home early to finish up my assignment but ended up staying till like 10pm, which resulted in me staying up all night to finish DesgnFnd lol. Started fighting with Wayne over who gets the white pillows and I told them all about my night walk HAHAHA. Daph and Lynn looked so freaked out. Then its up to the upstairs room where I heard the whole drama affair (my class is SO happening lol) and then back home with Wayne, Edwyn and Tiff!

Kkay its so late and I have class tmr at 9am! Shall talk more tmr see ya

2009-05-17T10:52:00.005+08:00

3 cheers and 3 cheers for NYP's Student Union!

SU camp was total awesomeness :) Shall blog more tonight after Zhongping's birthday chalet celebration at Pasir Ris (oh em gee)... but for now I'm off to FINALLY have a nice hot bath and then to church!

2009-05-14T01:27:00.004+08:00

Kris Allen - Falling Slowly.

It's close to 130am now and suddenly I'm missing all the Midyear exams, O levels mugging, dressing Keeger up in class, sticking Blu-Tack on Lydia's hair, making a big fuss on the change of seats in class, my teachers frustrated why are you sleeping in class! phrase, asking Sarah pointless questions, eating the chinese food in the canteen, laughing at Bainy for no apparent reason, singing random songs during breaks in between classes, annoying Mdm Tan with my horrendous grades, kicking Carlos' long legs, studying in night classes, crapping with Alicia in class, collecting homework for Sarah when she's sick, shrieking "HAHAHA omg that's retarded!" to Nicholas and Haron when they do crazy and weird things during History class, sitting in the hall for hours just doing a piece of exam paper, staring at the Big-Ass fans, doodling on paper, laughing so hard till your stomach hurts during Mr Yosef's physics class, hiding under Ms Tan's table in the HOD Room just to scare her, randomly visiting Mr Wee for a chat and mango sweets even though there wasn't English class that day, teasing over a mysterious boy, running past the security guard to class when I'm late and most of all... writing my english essays.

I miss it all. Where did it go?

2009-05-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

LOL OMG. This is DA02's afterparty video after the most dreaded presentation of our lives so far - Assignment #1 Ext! :) The front part is pretty lame omg, but I got lots of screentime and I even said my FAMOUS ELEPHANT JOKE HAHAHA. And yes my screentime includes me doing retarded things like pulling my hair into pigtails and dancing infront of the camera -_- So embarrassing.

Ah but not as embarrassing as the 3rd vid we made at night where I was impersonating the seaweed movement with my hair and Wayne with his body HAHAHA. Omg I tell you, it's so gay. Maybe some unseen miracle will happen and Lynn won't be able to send the file to Betty and she won't be able to upload it to youtube :D :D :D

Assignment #1 Ext presentation went pretty okay. At least the teachers said my mounting was okayish :) And I had a few other good comments as well~ Like the whole fish eye transition in the tree bark and the battle scene music. But gah I have to re-do the whole thing 'cos my perspective of pictures really sucked. I really have got to work on that :/ Amanda said I looked as if I wanted to cry lol. Nah I slept a good night's sleep the day before... confirm won't have emotional unstability HAHA.

Although I was just a teensy weeny bit disappointed that my work wasn't one of the best, I mean after all who wouldn't want their work to be presented infront of Motion Graphics student or to be announced infront of all the others as REALLY REALLY GOOD, I think I still have lots of learn. Oh oh oh but Wayne was really nice, after I got back to my seat he turned behind and told me he liked my video 'cos it was funny lol. I thought it was one of the best encouragements I ever got. Seriously. So thank you Wayne! Even though I have no idea if you ever read my blog. Ehehehe.

OH AND I WAS LATE FOR CLASS AND SKIPPED LECTURE 'COS I WOKE UP AT 730 -_- I don't know what's wrong with me... but I totally forgot to set my alarm. Thank God class starts at 12pm tmr YAYYYY :D And I hope I don't get some warning letter like how Hadi did. Hurhurr. But all in all today was a pretty good day (I SAW M HAHA) and tmr will be even better :)

The POWERRRR OF POSITIVE THINKING!

Okay I'm off to bed and up early tmr morning for drawing fundamentals homework! BYEBYEE

2009-05-12T22:47:00.005+08:00

I have time to watch my Jdramas! HAHAHAHA.

This one's a new one that came out on 14th April I think. It was advertising at the end of Mei-chan no Shitsuji last Ep and nobody translated it to english subs so I thought it wasn't anything nice lol. But it's worth your time to watch so go catch it :)

By the way, Seto Kouji is HOT :) He's the 5th brother in Atashinchi no Danchi... and he's way hotter than M! lol @ Betty and Amanda hahahaha! Go click on the pictures to enlarge, seriously he's my new love. HURHURR.

I think Amanda and Betty would prefer the 3rd brother instead. Their whole fetish with hot topless guys and all -_-

Anyway its tuesday and school yesterday officially SUCKED :) Animation fundamentals was okay in the morning, I managed to animate my seeeaweed. And got scolded for talking and laughing too loudly with Amanda -_- Mr Bhakta knows my name now. And to think that during his lecture last week he went like "Kezia and Amanda I know you guys so stop talking." infront of the entire cohort lol. Danggggg cannot sit with Amanda anymore la, we'll just keep on laughing at others like mad people -_-

Yes 02 is now known as the most noisy and sloppy class amongst the teachers. Hahaha what the pink can.

Okay so Design fundamentals in the afternoon was like the FINAL straw. Seriously. Spent the whole dang night doing her bloody assignment 'cos I didn't have time from Wed to Sat (roar @ assignment one ext pfft) and sundays are like church day for me. Slept at 4am and woke up at 6am feeling extremely cranky and emotionally unstable. HAHA ok I just sounded like a retard in that last sentence. Emotionally unstable lol. Ah well. I'm not an all-nighter kind of person unlike Betty Wayne Gangyi and the others... I need my sleep!

So you-know-who went on and on and on about how crappy my work was and how I didn't do enough research and how my pictures don't have a message etc etc and gave me a big zero. I was like... wtpink? A stupid zero for my work that I stayed up all night just to complete. It's really so irritating when teachers don't tell you exactly what they want and then they mark you down and tell you that you aren't working hard and all that shit for a bleeding work you did till 4 FREAKING AM in the morning. Tell me where no effort?!??!!!!!!!!

Oh em gee I mean seriously. I've never even cried in secondary school. Not even when I'm under immense pressure during Os. Now you get chewed out for doing something you thought was right. Who wouldn't cry? Especially when your emotions are going crazy due to the lack of sleep. Pffft.

On a lighter note, I think she would have probably said much worser stuff (after hearing what she said to Betty omg) if I didn't cry right infront of her. So I guess that... I shall give her credit for being just a teensy little nicer. Still doesn't change the fact that DESIGN FUNDAMENTALS REALLY SUCKS. PRONTO.

Okay now I shall forget about the stupid module until tmr when we sit thru her lecture. MEGASIGH.

Betty has finally put the video on youtube HAHAHA! Take a look, spot me, and laugh your hair out! :D

Happy Kezia week everyone!! :) See y'all around~

2009-05-10T17:33:00.006+08:00

Ally says she's reading the same thing on my blog everyday so I figured I should really not let my blog rot :D HAHAHA.

And I am officially Mervin's worst nightmare when I tie my hair up in pigtails! Don't you think it's cuteeeeeee :) Minus the ugly part in cute of course. I was supposed to be the kiddy nerd during the skit in Comm Skills class lol. Then Lynn, Amanda and Wayne couldn't resist and took my picture HAHAHA~

School's pretty alright now that I'm used (kinda) with the workload. Animation hmewrk on mondays, Drawing Fund. on tuesdays, Design Fund. on wednesdays and I'm freee for the rest of the week! Unless more crappy stuff like Assignment #1 (and ASS-ONE-EXT lol) are dumped on us. DA02 is now known as the noisiest, sloppiest and loudest group compared to the rest. Ah well. Life goes on... I'm not the one making the most noise anyway. Ehehehehe.

Ah and and and I seriously wanna give a big thanks! to Mervin and Kaiyang :) They're really really extremely nice people... Without Mervin's Macbook and their help I would have never completed my Assignment #1 Ext video clip with all the awesome effects and music. I could see they were really tired out when we were at King Albert Park's Macs yesterday yet they stayed till 11pm with me and teached me willingly without forcing me to hurry up and anyhow do :) I shall get them jellybeans tmr! They may be eccentric at times (well ok my whole class is eccentric anyway) but DA02 is definately a fabulous bunch of people :)

Now I just have to finish Amy's homework for her class tmr. MEGASIGH. ): Don't even know if I can sleep tonight mannzzxx.

BETTY AND LYNN TOOK LOTS OF PICTURES!! :) Now I just need to get my sketchbook pics from Amanda... HAHAHA.

Yep this is Betty! The one that goes extremely hyper and is 239821492191209101 louder than I am xD

We like to fight!! *winkwink*

Oh yes we were extremely bored haha! Decided to climb the pull up bar and squeeze ourselves inside the triangular shaped thing. HAHAHA.

ROARING AT ZHONGPING!!! He didn't even entertain us la ):

The thorn among the roses xD hahaha!

Oh oh oh I'll try to upload the Friday Afternoons with DA02 EP #1 video on Youtube asap :) Then you can see how crazy we all are lol. OKAY SEE ALLY I UPDATED! Now I want to go nap before starting Amy rubbish boooo.

KBYEEEEEEEE :)

2009-04-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

HAHA I PASSED MY DRAWING FUNDAMENTALS AGAIN LOL. Even though my cylinder was kinda out of shape... but today's drawing class was loads better :)

Mervin bought gummy bears for me this morning! So nice la can... I wanted to go down to Vivocity ytd after school to get those gummy bears they sell at Candy Empire in a bottle 'cos it really looks real cute, but left school reeeeally late yesterday night and was too tired to go down. Watched Code Geass (thanks ah wayne HAHA) till 2am in the morning and woke up late for Animation class today.

And today it JUST had to rain... making the floors super slippery and causing me to slip infront of 2481294821394321 other NYP students walking to school ): So embarrassing la. I had to hide my face and run to my block! And then when I reached, I FOUND OUT THERE WAS NO CLASS WTPINK.

But ok la, we all spent time crapping and singing and making fun of a certain poor dude in my class till lunchtime~ And during our break after drawing fund. class we went down to Koufu for teatime meal LOL. Amanda and I started competing on who can eat a piece of sushi with the most wasabi! Wah it was craziness... my nose felt like it was going to drop off any moment. BUT DANG SHIOCK LA. HAHAHA. omg so singaporean. We ended up in a draw :) Shall have a real match at Sakae Sushi soooooooon HURHUR.

Tmr's cg and I really have to get my assignments done man :/ It's all either halfway finished or not at all. Dang dang dang...

2009-04-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

People will probably be bored reading and re-reading me rant about how tired I am and how crazy life is when you're rushing for projects so I won't do that today! Hahahaha

I feel like I'm neglecting my blog after not posting for 2 days -_- Why do I feel bad most of the time and think that everything is my fault? I think I'm to nice... I want to be eeeeeevil and mean and scary! Although I think it'll be an epic fail if I ever was emo and depressed lol.

Today was the usual, class lunch free break and then some wacom design class :) We used photoshop! (MAG omg it's seriously a whole new way of exploring photoshop man... not just editing photos and doing songsheet xD you'll love it) So every senior in Animation was doing until so pro like that, colour theory etc etc ENVIOUS MAN. And it's really proness... while I can only do sketchy drawings of Morpheus from The Matrix :)

I think I have a bad habit of making things look slimmer than they actually are... This doesn't look like Morpheus at ALL. Okay but cover the head and look at the suit! I think quite nice LAH. First time sketching on a wacom tablet and not on paper lol. I think its really cool.

Okay so I am swamped with assignments (what's new) and I'm not surprised that its wednesday and the teachers gave one assignment each per day. So like, we have a new assignment everyday what the pink. I need my social life back!! WHERE'S LEE CHAN BAI CARLOS AND ALLY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT PEOPLE!

Yes today was an extremely entertaining day as I OBSERVED people (ahaha daphne's like an open book) and found out a bit of info from Betty about you-know-who and you-know-what :D

Oh and Wayne's teeth is actually really sharp and strong like an eeeeevil monster that doesn't laugh at my jokes! Mervin had the whole O_OOMGZZXXX look on his face. AHAHAHA. Ah so random.

OH YES I FORGOT TO SAY BUT I PASSED MY LIVE DRAWING IN DRAWING FUNDAMENTALS HAHAHAHA. I was really so so so happy when I saw the 'P' on the class list seriously. I thought I would end up failing every module (after that Fird FLIRT disaster) but oh thank God. Although my cylinder, squares and triangles was a serious failure :/ But there's always tmr when we have drawing fund :) I have to remind myself not to cry if I failed again can. Aiya.

Anyway. I think I should say this to chan ally bai lydia and taytay and see if they're actually reading my blog like they should HAHAHAHA. HELLO YOU ALL. I AM NOW KNOWN AS THE LAME ONE IN CLASS. NO MORE BIMBO AND EGO!!! :) like being promoted la. SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING?!

HAHA. Not bad all caps. Eheheh. Okay bed sleep it's close to 1am (even though I'm changing to posting time to 11:45pm lol) SEE YOU! DONT FALL OFF YOUR BED. HAHA.

2009-04-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

I think my Mom knew I didn't feel all good and happy when I came back home so she went to buy sushi for me!! HAHAHA so nice right :)

I think everyone's gonna come flocking to my blog to see what I'm gonna say about what happened in Design Fundamentals this afternoon lol. I'm still thinking if I should :/

Ahhh okay anyway. Design fundamentals today wasn't a total rubbish (although I like to think of it as so), at least I learnt something... two annoying creatures must be put together and created in such a way that nobody freaking knows what it was originally like. Which is total crass to me, but whatever. So I didn't do my 10 panels of Fird properly, I rushed through it in the entire night and slept at 2am, sketched messily and didn't meet the requirements the teacher wanted.

SO WHAT?

I don't get what's the big idea in crying over it or making up excuses like 'oh I had church'. BIG DEAL. I bet everyone else had something else on and yet they still finished... and aced the whole assignment. Sure, it stings pretty hard to have your work called as 'utter rubbish' and 'sloppy' infront of everyone but that's just how DMD Animation is like. At least that's what I tell myself. So I didn't lived up to perfection and fallen short of the bullseye in the dartboard... life goes on. I just gotta move on with it, do better the next time round and prioritize my time.

Okay maybe this is just me being hard and harsh on myself. But I kept telling myself on the way back home in the mrt that crying wouldn't change anything anyway. What do I hope to achieve if I cried - sympathy or comfort from the people around me? I don't want those. I don't need people looking at me with pitied eyes. But don't get me wrong... It's not that I don't appreciate it, I do appreciate those who talked back to the teacher on my behalf, those awesome classmates of mine that stood up for me :) But sometimes its tough to see the look in peoples' eyes.

Besides... it's my fault anyway. For not being creative enough or putting as much effort as the teacher had wanted me to. Sure, I put in effort. If I didn't I wouldn't even bother to skip my lunch to get my research printed at the school bookshop. Or stayed up till 2am even though I'm dead beat and sick. But apparently MY effort wasn't good enough. So too bad then, you learn and you learn well.

So right, I'm not perfect and I was really annoyed and upset and felt like strangling someone just now, but I also do know that it wouldn't change my circumstances so I'll just swallow everything down and not cuss or swear at the teacher :) Life goes on... just move along with it LAH.

Tyvm Mag for listening to my rants on MSN :) Although I was crying half of the time. Hahaha

But I am really much better now, today's incident was just a stepping stone for me to strive to be a more creative and hardworking person! :)

Okay well yes. Now that today's all done and over with, I shall look forward for tmr being a much better day and hopefully my day will be filled with beds of roses, lame jokes and off tune singing! :D Am off for bed, it's been a tiring day so see ya!

2009-04-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

One of the questions of my first assignment was your impression of others first impression of you, and I drew this :/ It was meant to be funny and witty but my lecturers face looked extremely expressionless when I presented it so... like omg okay nvm. I went like "I think my classmates think I'm lame because apparently to them I can't tell funny jokes." And then I got blank stares from the lecturers... so I quickly continued and said "Er yeah, lame leg, lame man. Okay next slide." Gahhh

4 days on putting my soul into this and having sleepless nights for the past 2 days, my fever seemed to come back with a vengence. I had to leave early after my presentation to get back home and SLEEP. My whole immune system is screwed up :/ there are lots and lots and lots of times I wish I could get rid of headaches and the annoying cough and the nose that never seem to stop running. I NEED MY HEALTH BACK! BREATHING EATING SINGING LAUGHING

Today's presentation was... hahaha okay let's not talk about that, it's OVERRRRR!

Comm skills today was real fun :) Ms Jeri was the total cool shitzzzzzxx man. Never enjoyed myself so much before. Hurhur. We had to introduce ourselves (for some they had to introduce their partners) and I ended up singing the Cadbury song infront of everyone lol. BETTY IS A RIFLE LOL. I find that extremely hilarious. HAHAHA.

Okay I'm OFF FOR BEDDDDD, tmr's gonna be a busy day with 2 new assignments to finish up by monday morning and school likes to suck me dry so... see you all around whenever I feel like blogging :)

2009-04-22T22:56:00.002+08:00

One of my pictures for free expression panel 19! Yes I can't sketch for nuts but I can try :)

I really want a DSLR soon soon soon :)

Okay school was okayish today, I finally slept in one of the classes 'cos I was so freaking tired staying up doing the assignment. But I got the gist of the lesson at the end of the day ANYWAY, so heck it. xD Haven't fallen asleep in any lecture yet so I'm still going strong~ (But I seriously think it's only a matter of time and my lecturer's monotonous voice that will shut me off :/) You won't even get into the lecture hall if you're 10 minutes late! And my morning lectures start at 8am dang. Absolute craziness.

Amanda was so funny, she was late 'cos she was stopped by the mrt dude who thought she was a TERRORIST LOL. She carried a really terrorist-like black Adidas bag, and I was thinking 'omg how can a terrorist afford Adidas lol. They'll probably spent every cent they have on bombs.' And Hadi LOL. My class has a thing for being right on time or being late... well 'cept for a certain person who mass sends text messages every morning. -_-

Speaking of text messages in the morning... I got so annoyed this morning when I received as what I perceived as an extremely sarcastic text message while sleeping in the train. I found out that apparently 9 other people had it too lol. And they were complaining all about it. Like what the pink I got so pissed that I actually replied and said 'what the hell its SEVEN FREAKING THIRTY' :D Ah whatever, I get real cranky when I don't have enough sleep so pffffft.

Yes ok I have to get back to doing that assignment so shall blog again... soon x) hurhurhur.

2009-04-21T23:53:00.006+08:00

Wanted to blog while giving myself a break from my homework lol.

Poly has officially started (no more holidays lol) and it's been pretty fun and hectic for the past 2 days :) DMD Animation is a really cool course despite the huge assignment that was given on the first day lol. We had a 3hour drawing session today where we drew a live model of a lady lying on the bed which was awwwesome :) And I was right when I told the rest that Ariel WAS A GUY HAHAHAHA.

Okay well 20 panels + mounting + presentation preparations to be done by friday so won't be updating for a while :) ok right that's done then, now back to the assignment!

2009-04-20T23:24:00.003+08:00

Beneath the surface of a name called Family is nothing but an empty shell.

I don't want something like that at all.

I have to laugh right? I have to smile right? I have to be perfect in all conduct, speech and mannerisms right? I have to be a role model right? I have to put everyone else first before me right? I have to be strong right? I have to be the one that holds together right? I can't show my own emotions out right?

That's right.

2009-04-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

I don't know if it's just my stomach not agreeing with me, or me not having the appetite to eat, or me just feeling nauseous, or me wanting to throw up, or there's something wrong with my body. My stomach muscles hurt from all the coughing and sneezing.

On a better note, my fever finally broke and I'm feeling much much better :) No more above 38degrees temperatures!

Rachel talked about the 3 stages of christian growth today: baby, young adult, and the mature members. What struck me the most about what she talked about was that sometimes whenever the younger members argue with the older and mature members about something extremely childish and irrational, its the younger members that win the arguement.

It is NOT because the younger member had justified his point, but rather the younger member won because the mature members give in to him as they can see that the arguement is just too stupid and childish to even quarrel over - something that the younger member CANNOT see.

So next time when you're quarreling over a small situation, take a step back, look at your actions, and then decide what your next step will be. Every decision will have it's consequence.

And don't worry Jeyun... :) Even though you feel like you've been lied to and cheated lots of time, don't be upset k! This just shows that you have a trusting heart of a child... and God says in His word that a child-like heart has child-like faith, and we all need that kind of faith! :) So don't worry (I won't lie to you ok hurhur) and let's go out for a movie and go chill out one day <3

2009-04-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

After 20ML of cough syrup, 10 panadols, 3 flu pills, 2 vitagens, 11 cups of barley and lots and lots of hot water and prayer...

my fever dropped from 39.6 to 37.7degrees :} One more day and I'm pretty sure I'll be okay! YAY

2009-04-15T16:56:00.002+08:00

Outings with DA02 were awwwwwwesome :) I think I'm really getting stuck on Guna's whole awwwwesome word lol.

Went out with 3/4 of the class to Art Friend on monday afternoon to get our stuff for school next monday! I never thought I would actually have to spend so much on art materials :/ My savings are being drained away! But oh well. We all got lost when we tried to find the Straits Commercial Art Co. where we were supposed to get our blue pencils... but thank God I called Daphne and she knew how to get there :)

Went to catch Fast and Furious 4 at Iluma (can you believe it, I've never even been there before... although I heard David Archuleta was performing there last wk or smth. Bet all the fangirls were screaming their lungs out eeeish) and it was so cold in the theatre! The exit was like a huge maze, took forever to get out. I guess on the whole the movie was kinda okay... I totally loved the flip GPRS cell phone lookalike! Gah I want something like that one day :D

Headed down to LJS for dinner, but I didn't get anything 'cos the popcorn filled my stomach up during the movie lol. Betty, Amanda, Lynn and I started talking about the horror shows or movies we've watched before and the haunted house at Escape. Hahaha and then Betty started telling us about the thai movie The Shutter... and one of the scenes showed the ghost sitting on the person's shoulder! Which was seriously scary can. I never want to watch horror movies... think I'll just freak myself out in the theatre LOL.

Went to PRP yesterday with the three girls, Kaiyang, and our OGLs Crystal and Jason :) The other guys backed out and Amanda was pretty pissed at them PMSing LOL. But it was really funnnn 'cos we stopped by the pony farm on our way to PRP... I didn't know there was such a place lol. The horsies smeeeeeelllll but they were pretty cute :D After touching looking staring at the small ponies and the white horse (and Betty was dreaming of a bai ma wang zi hahaha), we headed to the park to play with the swings and saucer-like thing that made we dizzy like nuts. Hahaha and then we climbed the small pyramid, its too bad they tore down the big one ):

Got to the rooftop of the carpark to fly my kiteeeeeeee :) Spot the kite in the picture at the top of the post! It's so tiny lol. In the end my string got tangled up and now its just one big knot. Roarrr its terrible to unknot everything and I'm seriously contemplating on getting a new rail of string. Had Macs for dinner (all the fast food is killing me) and then we were all guessing the answers for the LENG XIAO HUA. Cold jokes lol. My hanyu pinyin sucks. And Amanda takes CLB tooooo HAHAHAH FRIEND!

Left Pasir Ris at 10pm and had to take the long mrt ride home ): Although the train went pretty fast, I think the mrt driver wanted to get home early tooo. Hahhaha~ but thanks to those who texted me lol. I sent everyone a mooooo sms and they were like LOL KEZIA. WHY MOO. But Yunnnn totally knows the happy thing that happened on the ride home right ^^ HAHAHA.

Okay TODAY! Whew it's a really long post. K anyway. Woke up this morning with a terrible sore throat and fever. I kinda panicked 'cos next week school reopens and I can't afford to skip the first day of school :/ And whenever I catch a fever I'll be sick for a wk or so. (which totally sucks) But thanks to everyone who said get well soon to meeee. It's really nice of you all :)

Gahhh my nose is leaking like a tap! I hope dinner tonight is good :) Ah lol that was so random.

Okay I'm off to drink more hot water and hope my white blood cells engulfs the bacteria and kiiiiiiill them. Hahaha okay bio much. Phagocytes Lymphocytes roar okay see you all around~

2009-04-13T00:01:00.001+08:00

When life sucks, roar REALLY LOUDLY at it!

& then wish you'll get whisked off to Narnia :)

It suddenly dawned to me (or was the Holy Spirit bringing me back to remembrance...?) that I should really be thankful. So here's a list of things I'm thankful of from January to today!

I'm thankful for the 5 month long holiday.

I'm thankful for my A1 in English.

I'm thankful of the A2 in Humanities!

I'm thankful I've gotten into NYP'S DMD Animation...

which is THE best in s'pore :)

I'm thankful for meeting DA02!

I'm thankful for not being in Easter Productions this year...

I brought 3 friends to Christ!

I'm thankful I have really fab cg members like...

Yunny Maggie Franfran Yingzzz2 etcetc :)

I'm thankful for the new clothes Mom got for me.

I'm thankful I had time to fly my kite.

I'm thankful Jeyun prepared sandwiches xD

I'm thankful for the Starbucks treat!

I'm thankful for a lot more other stuff... and

I'm really thankful for a great God :)

And now I feel life's great :) It might not be a bed of roses, but it certainly has enough roses for me to be happy!

2009-04-12T21:31:00.002+08:00

Switchfoot's Meant To Live is now on repeat in my Windows Media Player... yes I am currently feeling depressed and burdened with all the journalism passion draw write animation work crap now :) Life sucks innit, but it just goes on. My only consolation is that probably one day I'll end up doing all those japanese anime I love. My dad offered to pay for my O level Bio paper if I ever wanted to retake (I never thought I'd ever retake omg wtp) but I missed the deadline for this year. So that's another consolation prize added to my list - A B3 for Bio and a chance to get into SP's Creative Writing for TV and New Media. Or maybe mug my ass off at a JC.

Okay all the gloom and doom and whinings aside, I'm actually kinda excited for school. Not because of Animation (oh thank heavens no) but 'cause of the pretty cool people I've met in DA02 :) So maybe life will be pretty much okay. And yes I'm just really trying to reassure myself and stay upbeat and postive.

And Seelan just gave me what I needed the most lol.

kez {: says:
haha

INSANe .chelsea; eyes closed-its suicide says:
haha. and you're always awesome!

INSANe .chelsea; eyes closed-its suicide says:
always!

2009 has been an irritating year so far with my life going up and then down and then up and down down down again... but I wouldn't say everything is crappy. Just that the crappy stuff are more than the nice things. Okay wait I'm complaining again :/ Okay I'm switching to Relient K's songs, they sound nicer and happier. Hahahaha

Easter was fab! Didn't manage to catch the last show due to the fact Yun Jas and I were out shopping for clothes and I totally blew $30 on 3 junk food tees ): Heard the clubbing scene was extremely funny though xD But well I'm glad I could talk normally with my ogl even though she's 2 years older... was so nervous abt inviting her today (or rather she asking me) but it went well in the end :) PTL~

Now I must really get a move on doing more sketches before school starts... and have a good night sleep. See ya around :)

2009-04-11T22:55:00.002+08:00

You know when I said I knew little about love, that wasn't true. I know a lot about love, I've seen it, seen centuries and centuries of it. It was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars, pain and lies, hate made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves... you could search the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional, but i also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable... and strangely easy to mistake for loathing. So what I'm trying to say Tristian, is... I think I love you. My heart... it feels like my chest could barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me anymore, it belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange. No gifts, no goods, no demonstrations in devotions, nothing but knowing you love me too. Just your heart... in exchange of mine.
- Yvaine in Stardust (Movie)

I've started reading the book Stardust after watching the movie online :) I thought the movie was pretty good so do catch it if you're free! The story plot in the book is much more detailed I guess, but I haven't really gone past the beginning of the book so I can't really comment on the book lol.

But I'm really a huge sucker for spoilers, so I read the ending and realised Tristian died and Yvaine continued ruling the kingdom of Stronghold ): He died! In the movie they both used the Babylon candle to be stars forever and ever and all that. Booo. Ah well.

I'm in the whole love thing mode right now, especially after reading a particular guy's blog (I mentioned him in the other posts I think) again and after hearing the news of a special friend that just got attached. And how she got attached actually. Sweet as Fuji apples xD Anyway he's just a role model. And I'm guessing lots of other people don't know which is which and who is who I'm referring to lol.

OH YES EASTER DRAMA WAS FAB! It's a nice refreshing change to be part of the audience this time round and watch the rest of the dramatists perform :) And I've got pretty good seats near (or rather at) the front! I think what really touched me the most was the last scene where Silas was attempting to revive Carmen... the fatherly love, the helplessness, the hurt, the shock, the relief, the joy, it all really poured out. It was like he was going through a million different emotions and pulled it all off at the same time :)

And PTL seriously, I had a last minute confirmation from a friend and she's coming for the Easter service tmr :D I'm really glad and excited (I think Yun and Mag can testify for that HAHAHA) so I'm gonna pray that everything goes well. After all, I can't rely on my own strength when it is Him who had given me an opportunity to touch another's life :) It's really so amazing how God can open up doors that Man cannot shut in a quirky and funny way. A way that you can never imagine it happening. I'm really glad I'm serving a great GREAT BIG and extremely cool God that's alive!

I'm excited and my heart is jumping (when it talks I'll have superpowers) so I'm off for QT and then bed!

2009-04-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

I realised I haven't been blogging since Tuesday HULAHUALAHULAHOOPSHAHAHA :D

Anyway been out with my mom and sister today to shopppppp so now I have lots of lovely clothes, acessories, BOOKS and very tired feet :) It's friday tmr! TGIF especially since tmr is good friday :D Can't wait for service and the fab drama productions... shall blog about it tmr (if I do have the time xD)

Okay see you all around sometime. Hahaha

2009-04-07T00:19:00.008+08:00

Pictures for museum trip are super hugeeeee and is taking a long time to upload them on blogger!

I'm hooked on this song again :) Somehow it never fails to get me up on my feet again and motivates me to do what I gotta do... I think I'm going to rely on this song a lot more in the next 3 years in SIDM. Hahahaha

Dare You To Move - Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up by the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here

Between who you are are
And who you could be
Between how it is
And how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up by the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where you gonna go
Where you gonna go
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up by the floor
To lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move like today never happened
Like today never happened
Like today never happened before
----

Okay pictures are up~ (: A few posts ago I was talking about a really fab room I saw at the Singapore Musuem... If I have the money when I grow up, I would definitely built my house in this manner!

A large room like this with curtains and wooden floor, plus swing out windows! And the ceiling has spotlights for lights instead of the ugly circular kinds... exactly my type :D

It'll have a winding staircase like this (only bigger and wider) to go up to the second level of my house! (: Lizzie and I decided how many levels we want our house to have... I want a 3 levels 1 basement 1 rooftop house while she wants a 4 levels 2 basement house LOL. Think big dream big okayyyy. Who says dreams don't come true :D

I love this pretty design on the railings... I think it'll be cool if I had them too :)

Not forgetting a display of cups are saucers (or any other antique thing encased in glass) hanging from the wall...

And beautiful vintage swing-out windows with long white semi-transperant curtains!!

I want a huge bed too, lots of mirrors, sliding doors, spotlight lamps, comfy soft sofas, a garden!, a swing and carpet grass on the rooftop, rattan sofas and covered shelter plus a teatable up there and a nice open space to fly my kite...

I think I would have to marry an extremely rich guy. (I hope so! HAHAHA) It's possible to actually achieve all these, one of my mom's clients had a house like this when we visited during CNY... It was absolute fabness I tell you.

I love all the artsy stuff. Musuems are a really great place to go... hopefully Mag will be able go with meeee next time and we can take lots of pictures :D YAYYYY

Anyway. I realised that time passes, people that went their separate ways and were once close to you grows further away. You don't see them as much, they don't see you as much... and then conversation fades off completely. That kinda sucks ): Okay well i'm off to sleep. nightsssss

Between who you are and who you should be

Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to lift yourself up off by the floor...

2009-04-06T12:14:00.004+08:00

Because I know that even the one that is supposed to be the closest to me doesn't give a rat's ass about family. I don't have to prove myself to them or be someone who I'm not. If I'm not in, then I'm not. I'm not some person that thrives on how they look on the outside. I'm not someone that cares about my weight... if I did I would have exercised myself to the point I'm actually thin. But that's just it. I don't care about my outside looks like how she would.

If you don't know what I want in life then you're not someone I qualify to be close to me in the first plae. Even if you're family. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, so go on and spew your vulgarities. Go on and spew your ugly words. It won't make you any better... But *I* know that looks aren't the ones that God is going to look at when we all get raptured up to the sky.

I don't care if I'm not accepted to DM, I don't care if I'm not performing in Easter, I don't care 'cause I've learnt to let go of it a long time ago. Your intentions might be good in the first place, but as of now, you turned it into a weapon. I don't want something like that so you can just take it back.

So what if someone said something about me that I'm not? I don't care. Sure, I get upset at first, but then whatever happened in the past IS in the past. I gave up caring about what he said. I'm not here to please everyone. I don't care if you don't like me and say it behind my back. If you got a problem, say it straight to my face. Like Elizabeth. She'll tell me what she doesn't like about me straight to my face and that helps me to change and grow. Just being a TAKER like some people and saying whatever they want to make themselves feel more superior and be a WINNER isn't something I care about.

I gave up being in DM a long time ago. It doesn't affect me anymore in the long run.

If you think you can use that against me, think about it again devil. It's that thing in you that I hate, not you yourself. So realize it and get it out.

I know what *I* want now. I know what I have to do now. Anyone that doesn't know can just get out of my sight before they start critisizing who I am and who I want to be.

2009-04-05T00:07:00.006+08:00

I wish I could be somebody else

I wish I can see you in myself

Okay I'm finally blogging about SIDM's orientation :)

DA02! They are all absolutely fab people. I remembered we were all quiet on the first day and didn't really talked to one another (except for the smiles when our eyes connected), but I'm glad that by the end of the 3rd day everyone was joking around :D I can name everyone in my group! HAHAHAHA. Thank God I got voted as A.IC, I wanted to be one after Rachel talked to me about it but totally didn't dare to volunteer la xD With God's strength and wisdom I shall be a really great A.IC that serves others with excellence!

Da02 is really a bunch of really talented people. 3/4 of them took O level Art! And I'm like a Science student in an art-based class -_- My drawings are like total crap compared to theirs... Mine's like primary school art! When we had to do storyboarding in 10 panels on the 2nd day in an hr and a half, I thought mine was pretty cool until I saw Tiffany's and Kai Yang's drawings... then I went like 'SHIT. How am I gonna survive.' ): And then their scrapbooks having absolutely perfect drawings, and mine's like kiddish. Boo hoo.

So during one of the lectures Ms Grace was talking about passion and all that stuff for the course... And it got me thinking if I would really want to spend my 3 yrs in Animation :/ I mean like, I have to draw 24 frames just for a second! It's not like I hate drawing or anything, I just don't particularly love it as much as the rest of the people in DA02. I'm like the okay person... in between like and dislike. If someone asks me to draw I would, if someone asks me to practice I would. Just that I don't know if being okay is enough passion to get thru the 3 years.

I always thought I'm the JC kid, going to PJC to study and mug for the Art subjects like Lit Hist etc for 2 years :/ Then a bomb hit me on the 12th of Jan and my life came crashing down and the sky fell and all that (HAHA dramatic much) and then another bomb hit me on the 28th of Feb when the JAE results came out. I mean, why can't the course co-ordinators freakin' look at my EL grade instead of the COP!!! And then I ended up in animation which I had NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do in there :/

But well obviously it's too late for regrets blah blah blah and all the other I -should-have-worked-hard shit... I'm just questioning myself now if I can bear to give up writing and Journalism and my languages for the sake of drawing, animating etcetc.

You'll never change your life until

you change something you do daily.

- Mike Murdock

Writing isn't something I can just let go like that... I'm just really praying I'll survive and excel, have at least a GPA above 3 and be A.IC for the next 3 years or smth. I guess I just have to change my mindset of not totally loving drawing to being someone that loves to draw. It all starts in the mind after all. I want to pray daily and seriously cast all the negative thoughts from my mind.

Changing something I do daily... that shall be my mindset :) I'll still continue writing! Won't give up~

Okay well it has been a pretty long post so I shall blog about my day to the Singapore Art Museum another day when I get the pictures from Mag! And prayer meeting tmr! Finally I can make it in the morning :) Yoshhhh Okay nights!

2009-04-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

Let go and let God.

2009-03-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm in no position to comment on a certain person's stupidity.

2009-03-30T11:54:00.002+08:00

Relient K - Up and up

Yesterday is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today
With every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history and what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on whatI know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
A better version of meFor you

To be prosperous
Would not require much of me
You see contentment is the one thingIt entails
To be content with where I am
And getting where I need to be
I'm moving past the past
Where I have failed

But I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
Right there at the end
Is where I'll be oh

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
What I've gained from love
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me for you
A better version of me for you

You never cease
To supply me with
What I need for a good life
So when I'm down
I'll hold my head up high
Cause you're the reason why

I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
What I've gained from love
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me for you
(Trying to be a better version of me for you)
----

This is one of my faved song from Relient K... (: It's now on repeat in my iTunes lol.

It really speaks a lot, so do take a listen to it!

2009-03-27T15:16:00.004+08:00

"Ichigo, what's the difference between a King and his horse? I don't mean kiddy shit like 'One's a person and one's an animal' or 'One has two legs and one has four'. If their form, ability, and power were exactly the same, why is it that one becomes the King and controls the battle, while the other becomes the horse and carries the King?! There's only one answer; INSTINCT!"
"I don't know about Zangetsu, but I sure as hell won't tolerate a king who's weaker than me, getting on my back, running around and getting us both killed. I'll crush you, if you're weaker then me... I'll become the King!"
"...but don't you forget, the king and his horse can change places at any time. If I see even a slight opening I'll buck you off and crush your skull!"

Well okay I thought what Hollow Ichigo said was pretty cool.

But Ulquiorra died ):

Okay it didn't specifically said that he died, but with a cero from Ichigo that huge, who'll be able to survive it? Unless Ichi goes all sympathatic and remembers his true nature etcetc and misses Ulq at the last second. Other than that Ulq pretty much screwed. I hope next week's chapter is going to be good - Ichigo's inner talk with Hollow Ichi and all.

Anyway. I'm an absolute sucker for Japanese manga and anime. I really hope I can draw as well as Kubo soon!

2009-03-26T22:58:00.004+08:00

I have so much thoughts that I want to pour out right now, but I'm afraid that it might not come out the way I want it to.

Although I haven't met him for about 2 to 3 years already, I still frequently visit the blog of a friend of mine. He probably won't know who I am or that I've been following on his posts for the last 2 years, but I really look up to this guy. His language, his thoughts, his way of expressing feelings are so... fascinating. I am very much envious of him. He is in every aspect what I like in a person. By just his posts alone he encourages me, motivates me, spur me on and gave me strength to have faith in myself and in the language I love. Although his posts doesn't mention a thing about me, but his way of writing is really impels me to enjoy the English Language and to write.

It feels like the emotions when he was writing the posts just course through me. It's an indescribable feeling.

He writes thought-provoking, sophisticated words that just seems to flow out so easily and casually. It was like using words like 'stragem', 'cocotte', 'provocative', 'chagrin' etc in normal everyday sentences. It was a nice and refreshing change to indulge myself in such posts rather than some blogs that are... utterly disgusting. I would love to be surrounded by people that uses nice profound words to express their feelings fully, rather than to comment that it was just 'nice' or 'good'. I mean, out of the entire English Language you say words like 'good' or 'exciting'? What about 'congenial' or 'satisfying'?

Of course, I am just as guilty for using poor words in my speech and stories. I shall change myself and not be so contradictory.

I am very envious of such people who can write fantastically well. I feel like an utter failure in writing whenever I re-read the short stories I've written.

And to top it all off, he is the kind of person that makes your heart beat faster if he's attracted to you. I'm not talking in terms of how he looks, although he is a pretty average looking guy. Rather it is the way he thinks and expresses himself, the tenderness of it all. I can barely find the words to describe this, so excuse my poor vocabulary. It's like... I could literally feel the way he felt when he wrote those words. The heartache, the longing, the love, the gentleness, all his different emotions. You could see he put a lot of thought into his every action. And even though the precious girl he likes does not share a mutual feeling, he would still go to great lengths to make her happy. Unconditional love. Sigh. But looking at the way she treats him, I think the girl doesn't really deserve such a great guy.

He makes me feel that there are guys out there that are completely sensitive and ready to give their heart to the one girl that makes them feel special. And that not all guys are completely jackasses and jerks that plays around with a girl's heart.

Basically he makes me feel that loving another special person of the other gender isn't as bad as I always thought it was.

Past experiences has shaped the way I feel towards a relationship between 2 people, how I've always wondered if the kind of sweet pleasant love could actually exist, how two very much in love could stare in each other's eyes and never tire out from it. Like Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. Men in the olden days thought a lot into their actions, and rarely show affection unless they feel absolutely drawn to the lady. It's sweet in its own way. I guess you can never truely write love stories or poems or a drama play without actually having experience love before. You could copy it, try to re-enact it or simply follow its actions but can never fully express the real feeling of love.

This is one of the rare occasions that my post reveals my true emotions and my thoughts... There are things I can't fully express unless I write them out anyway. And I realised I took an hour and a half to write these out.

I shall try harder to make my life be one worth looking back to and smiling at in the future!

'Cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up

And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of

Yeah, I'm on the up and up and yeah, there's nothing left to prove

'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you

A better version of me for you

2009-03-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

I shall refrain from going to blogs that make me really SERIOUSLY disgusted when I read them.

Today was a pretty fab day (it rained in the afternoon! :D) and I got a little bit more of drawing done. Riverwalk is a surprisingly hard place to draw with all the tiny details, and I felt that I would do no justice to the picture if I drew the cool white bridge there. My drawings are so amatuerish! But I guess it's to be expected because I haven't drawn a decent picture since Secondary 2... Ah well. Practice makes perfect! I can see my pictures slowly improving though. Guess those art lessons I took when I was young hasn't gone to waste :)

I feel like drawing at the Art Museum next... the interior design is pretty cool. It's very Pride-and-Prejudice-era-ish :) Seriously. With all the long flap out windows (is that what they're called?) and hinges and the white washed walls makes it look so pretty. And the last time I went there was... december? I saw a pretty neat empty room that didn't have any exhibitions in it that time. It had spotlights, grey flap out windows, dark brown wood floor and white walls! It looks like a place where models would do photoshoots at. I was like ohhhh loved. I so would like that kind of room in my house in the future!

And also the red swinging chandeliars there! The white staircases! The photograph filled wall!

Okay I shall stop going on and on :D

Anyway, went for BS today at Riverwalk and it was a pretty cool lesson. I do have lots of think about what I've learnt and I really don't want to procrastinate anymore. Hearing from God isn't something that you can do without having a intimate relationship with Him. I do want to hear from God, to open my spiritual ears and edify others with the gift of prophesy. There's so much to learn, and I'm pretty excited for the next lesson! We're going on to The Apostles... so YAYYY

I watched Confessions Of A Shopaholic online! I think it just opened in cinemas today... it's a pretty nice show :) I really want to read the book now. Bainy says I should never read the book before watching the movie 'cause I'll just hate and complain about the movie. xD Well the Twilight movie sucked. Ahahaha

Oh anyway. Went to Marina Barrage yesterday with Yun :) It was pretty nice of her since it was a really short notice when I decided to head there... but I'm glad she came along anyway. Was supposed to get some drawing done, but Jeyun was distracting me by looking at the black Ralph Laurant shirt guy! (Don't deny it okay HAHAHA) No la no la, but they were staring at us for no apparent reason. And Yun's ham and sausages sandwiches are really nice! :D

When I finally started on my drawing, this little girl came up to me and started staring at what I was doing. She stood like reeeeeally near and I was like 'Ni Yao Hua Hua Ma?' (Do you want to draw?) and then she was like nodding her head. So I drew a lion, and she tried to imitate it... but fail ah xD I mean, how can a 5 year old kid be compared to ME! HAHAHAHAH no la no la. She was pretty happy in the end when she left so... :) And then these Indian or Blangadash guys came up to me and Yun and asked if they could borrow my kite to fly and take pictures. They flew it really well la!!! *envious* Hahahaha

Went off at 710 and met Ian on the way out! I haven't seen Ian in ages... I didn't even notice him lol. I was busy untying the knot in the string of my kite. It was only until his friend (i think) talked REALLY loudly and I looked up to see who it was and then I went "AYE? HI~" And then (as quoted from Jeyun) "He smiled and waved at you and didn't smile at me la!" HAHAHAHA :D In the end he texted her and not me can! LOL. Anyway, we missed the last shuttle bus back to Marina Bay and had to walk back -_- Somemore we went the wrong direction, sang off tune, jogged to improve our stamina, laughed like crazy while running across the road, spoke in Japanese to seem like foreigners to the Banglahs there, and then.... THERE WAS THIS HUGE BUG ON JEYUN and I screamed like a girl O: You know... those high pitched screams. Then the Banglahs on the other side of the road stared at us. And then Jeyun continued screaming so I felt bad for running away from her and swept the bug off her. SEE, I'M SO NICE~ And then she complained I hit her so hard ): I saved you okayyyyyyyyyy. LOL.

Okay Taytay wants me to blog about him :) See, I still remember la!

Oh wait... I can't find a picture of him! Okay see this is what happens when we don't go out often and then we can't take pictures. Carlos Tay Kian Hao, when are we going out for Starbucks! (you treat okay :D) We all haven't gone out for ages together with Lydia Bai Chan :( Even JC muggers need a break from studying~

I think I got to brush up and perfect my drawings a little bit more before school starts. I wonder when I have to hand it in :/ Shall blog about it if I ever get around to scanning my drawings and uploading 'em to the laptop.

OHHHHH WHEN IS MY MACBOOK PRO COMING~

2009-03-24T01:50:00.002+08:00

You know you're not alone in this terrible valley when people inconvenience themselves to spend time with you. Thanks Jeyun and Mag for today :)

Although staying a little longer with me would have caused you to be late for your family event, tyvm Mag for not rushing off so obviously (which some other ppl do haha) but taking your time getting the Gap shirt with me! And tyvm Yun for catching the movie together even though the cinema wasn't really near your house and that it was really late too :)

I'm really glad that I have really nice members 8D 'cos sometimes I see friends of mine leaving church because they didn't feel loved or cared for in their cg, every member was so caught up in their own personal lives that they don't bother to care about other people. I do hope that I'll become someone that influences and change my members to be people that are caring and are truely concerned abt the lives of others instead of being caught up by things like 'eh you coming for svc?' and thats it :)

Finally caught the movie He's just not that into you! It was a pretty funny chick flick and a must watch :D You get tips about how a guy thinks. HAHAHA. Although one of the girls were pretty desperate to get attached (the way she tried hilariously retarded), she did end up with a pretty nice guy whom Jeyun thinks is super uber good looking LOL. I prefer the asian guy!! xD Okay so moral of the movie is... Don't cut your own bangs :D HAHAHAHAHA. And that if guys were really interested, they would go all out to get the girl :) So girls shouldn't think so much into a guy's actions. Seriously. Hahaha

Oh yes. My cell phone has been acting up recently, so I can't text or call out. But I'll be able to see whatever texts that is sent to me and answer calls... so please call :) It's much better, really.

I think I feel much better now and ready to type my spiritual report to jo! :) Shall head to Marina Barrage tmr to fly kite, as well as to sketch some stuff. I think it's time for me to get move on doing that sketchbook proj. thing before my course starts... :)

2009-03-22T01:15:00.002+08:00

No more black nails! :) And a huge change from other things as well...

2009-03-21T02:30:00.002+08:00

Mei-chan no Shitsuji EP 10!!!!!!

It's the last episode this week ): But overall I would say it's a pretty fab show ('cos the butlers were all hot lol) but nooooo Keito went over to London to be an S-ranked butler and didn't end up with Mei ): There better be a season 2!! And Tami is really funny when she's not playing the baddie :D Mei and Rihito kissed (duh lol) and then the rest of the class rushed in and did the whole "Mei nani nani~" and then Tami went "We were watching the whole time~" HAHAHA

It's worth watching :)

So anyway, now we have changes in the whole connect group allocations and Wesley became my co-COC :) I think my face was like O_O?! when Rachel announced it lol. Ah expected la, me and mag wouldn't end up tgt was co-COCs lol. But Wes is pretty nice I guess. Probably. Hhahahahaha Jo always said you need some challenges in life to rise up to a higher level so... whee~

Okay so cousin's wedding tmr and I have to put on makeup :/ gross.

AND OMG MEI-CHAN NO SHITSUJI OST <3

Okay I just downloaded the whole thing 'cos I'm a sucker for Jap music :D HA.

Aiya ok sleepy shall blog tmr after wedding, byebyeeee

(:

2009-03-19T23:45:00.005+08:00

Okay haven't been updating since... monday? :)

Evangelism Explosion with Pst Aries was pretty good and I've learn lots about having mercy and caring for the friends. But something I realised is that, this doesn't only apply only to friends but to our cell group members as well. There will be times when normal cg members are blind and can't see the vision, are sick and dry in the spirit, are injured and in need of inner healing... but we are so caught up that we don't notice it. :/ and so I don't want to be the kind of friend that "chooses" my friends, but one that is open with everyone :) I guess I still have a long way more before I can become someone I want to be, but step by step I'm gradually learning!

Okay anyway, lunch @ Hotpot Culture with my aunt and cousins tdy :) Eat eat eat until my stomach hurts la. But I did eat more than $20 worth of food (which is more than what we're supposed to pay per person, ahaha omg sounds so cheap la) Hahahaha and had choc fondue :D Still had the taste of the chocolate even after meeting Liz Guna and Val for dinner :/ Okay well once in a lifetime lunch buffet, have to make full use what. Lol :D

Okay pictures! Was taken by Joel (my cute 7 year old cousin!) so might be a lil blur :)

I fail to see how this looks like Hello Kitty! >:( Was playing around with the leftover choc fondue and decided to make this lion-like face which is totally cute ok. And then when we were leaving, the gay (?) waiter was like "Ohhhhh what a nice Hello Kitty!" EPIC FAIL ):

My cousins keep clinging on to me during the whole time -_- Pulling my arms, hugging my arms, playing with my shirt, saying "Kezia jiejie look at me!" for 1/2 of the time and the other half asking me if they can borrow my cell phone to take pictures. lol what the pink right :D But they were absolute cuteness :)

And guess who we saw!! LYDIA LEE LING EN LOL :D *winkwink*

Hi Ly, the cuteness that you see in my cousins run in the family :) Bet you didn't know Joel took this lol. Okay actually I didn't know too until I checked the pictures out at home. Hahahahaha

Okay so anyway, after lunch we walked around and I found a few pretty neat shops selling scrapbooking materials! Prints at City Link mall and the cute little shop at Raffles City that sells ribbons cheaper than Plaza Sing :) And I saw this really cute Orange cat pencil that is so adorable. But dang, I didn't have enough cash with me when I went... hopefully I get all the enrolment payment stuff done soon and then I can probably start saving up for the pencil :) Can't wait to use it once school reopens YAY

So met up with Liz, Guna and Val (spelling bee for life kkay! Hopefully they put that competition back in Emerge! :D) for dinner and coffee :) Okay well they had dinner, I didn't 'cause I was so full from the buffet. Hahaha but we saw the fashion show at Marina Sq for like... 5 minutes before me and Val decided to not ignore Liz and Guna who were bored within seconds of seeing the models catwalk ): I still think the first model out was ANTM's cycle 10's winner! I forgot her name though... but it was fab :) I've always dreamed of being invited to these events and then writing a fashion article about it. Wouldn't it be fun seriously!

So we talked during dinner, camwhored a bit (check fb for photos) and I heard a bit of depressing news but I guess that's just how life is. I mean, I can't hope to please everyone I know anyway, so I just have to be the funny cheerful Kez I've always been! (no i'm not going to write the word ego HAHAHA) Swallow it down even though you're feeling like crap and keeping a good counternance :) A certain person's conduct taught me that. My role model (kinda) HAHAHA

Okay well I got back home at about 11pm and yes, got scolded for other reasons (surprisingly my parents don't care how late I come back home but get hung up on other details instead -_-) but ah well. Life goes on.

Oh and if life ever gets you down, visit this :) It cracks me up actually. Although its kinda sadistic laughing at other people's misfortune.

Okay so well lunch with Chan tmr and I'm dreadfully broke. But I won't stay broke :D Faith as a small as a mustard seed eh... :) kkay see you all around, I think I'll be happy tmr :D manga release lol. Okay byeee

The Academy Is... - About A Girl

2009-03-16T20:52:00.003+08:00

I realised today that I haven't listened to the radio since O levels ended lol :)

Okay so now I have BLACK painted nails and wore a PINK top for church yesterday, I think there must be smth wrong with me :/ Maybe the sky fell without me noticing. Situations around you do shape your life and way of thinking... and I'm starting to think I've been cooped up at home for way too long.

So how do you actually run away from life? :/ I'm sick and tired of being... sick and tired.

Okay I'm actually quite pleased that I won't be home that often for the rest of the week :) Church tmr and wed, Lunch with my aunt and then chilling with Liz and the others on thursday, lunch and movie with Lydia Chan Bai and Ally on friday, and then I'm off for my cousin's wedding on saturday!

Home is like... a lake of fire.

Well I guess parents are always the ones that can get away with the words "You're too young to understand." I didn't know SEVENTEEN was young. Or young enough not to understand.

To be loved

What more can you ask for?

2009-03-14T03:46:00.005+08:00

Mei-chan no Shitsuji EP 9 :) The subbed vers. came out earlier! Happy~ And the twin butlers made an appearance in the episode again HAHAHA :D

Personally I think Shinobu-san wants Mei to win and pwn Shiori :) I think he's a much better butler suited for Mei instead of the baka Shibata Rihito. Anyway can't wait for next wk's ep, finally the successors of the Hongo family are gonna duel :)

Shall blog again later on... if anything interesting happen that is :/ hahahaha

2009-03-13T16:13:00.004+08:00

Back home from BGM at Riverwalk :) Now I have pretty black nails, henna drawing on my arm and a nice bracelet.

Would have loved to come back home later though, I'm really starting to dislike this house (hence the change of blogskin & blogsong) and the habitants in it. Nothing ever seems right in here. Got yelled at the minute I stepped into the house. Great. And then my parents telling me to sleep early. Don't they know the reason why I DON'T wanna sleep early 'cause it's nice and peaceful at night... beats the sound of their stupid arguments everyday. Plus waking up late in the morning prevents me from listening to their quarrels. I really wish one day they'll look at my blog and realise how much disappointment they're causing. Geez.

Okay I have to stay positive and get those negative thoughts out of my head, but frankly speaking, I'm really tired and exhausted from all these crap. I'm human too you know, sometimes I really need a break and find myself again. I'm not perfect or so understanding. Although I would love to be like that. But that's besides the point. I'm just really sick of this whole family. And I really wish they could just be put on mute 24/7. Seriously.

Moving on from the depressing stuff (lol), lately I'm really getting hooked back to the songs I've used to listen :) Like empty apartment, it ends tonight, dance inside... I think the lyrics are really nice. I shall start downloading my songs soon! Can't wait for my laptop :)

It's such a pain to actually find a new blogskin whenever I get tired of my old one. I'm actually very picky and I don't really like most skins :/ I hope school starts soon, I wanna draw and learn the codes etcetc and then I'll start doing my very own blogskin that I'm totally satisfied with. Hurhur. And I won't be home so often too yay. What a nice change from the stupid life at home.

I should actually start blogging more regularly. Hahaha sometimes I'm just too lazy to update x/

Okay I need to make my post less wordy and more pictury (don't think there's such a word) so here goes:

ULQUIORRA! In his 2nd released form :DDD

Sorry la, I'm a manga and anime geek can :) Hehehehe.

Anyway, YESSSSSSS THIS WEEK'S SHONEN JUMP MANGA WAS EPIC!

After 439 chapters of Naruto, Minato finally appears and Naruto goes 8 tails (pretty siiiiiiiiiick WHOO)~ The drawing's really great and all. Next up is Naruto's history and totalt ownage over Pain :D The chapter was fab la.

And Bleach omg. Although this week's chap kinda sucked (with Inoue crying for 3/4 of the chap :/), I so didn't expect Ishida's arm to be sliced off and Ulquiorra to look so dang BADASS! Y(^-^)Y Yes he is my fave character ok. :D Hollow Ichigo is finally appearing in next wk's chap I guess, and Ulq's ass is gonna be kicked BUT HAHA WHO CARES ICHI GOT OWNED AND HE PRETTY MUCH DIED WITH THE WHOLE HOLE IN HEART SHITZZZXXX :DDD

YAYYYYY

Overall it has been an pretty good day 'cos fab manga made my day :)

It ends tonight.

2009-03-12T02:24:00.001+08:00

It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects

Your subtleties, they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants, and all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

A falling star, lest I fall alone
I can't explain what you can explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe its best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side

It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

Whne darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight

It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
----

When did I start surviving instead living?

2009-03-11T22:01:00.001+08:00

I'm kinda sick and tired of life right row.

:)

2009-03-10T12:52:00.002+08:00

Never again will I leave my poly enrolment or any other enrolment/submission of documents to the last minute! The weekend was so incredibly hectic ):

Finally finished my enrolment stuff (and to think that tdy's the deadline... heng ah) but I kinda cheated on the CPF form thing. x( Was supposed to attach the approval of CPF board to use CPF but I attached my request form instead. It takes 2 days to process la! If I wait, my place in NYP might be taken awayyyy ): Well whatever, it'd done so it's done.

I can't believe I forgot to do so much stuff... Like writing my spiritual report to Jo or updating my QT timings ): Multi-tasking is so not efficient. Must do it all today and have a planner and a to-do list soon!

Went for the medical checkup ytd and had to pay $50 over for the whole thing >:( and Wilson said he paid only $25! So ASKDJFEIEI!!$^#!)@ I wasted so much money. But waiting time wasn't so bad. I guess. Anyway, the doctor said my heart talks! HAHAHAHA. And for that, I have to go down to NUH to see a cardiologist in June -_- My mom freaked out pretty bad. I bet it's nothing wrong la, just that my superpowers are starting to be dormant in my life and you'll see me shooting laser from my eyes soon and fighting baddies! YAYYY

Life was never exciting enough if we all didn't have superpowers anyway :)

And now I'm feeling really sleepy due to the fact I slept at 3am ytd and woke up at 830 :/ I need rest!!

:)

2009-03-06T23:52:00.004+08:00

Hello to the yellow bananas! :)

Finally got my school fees paid and I have like, 4 days to finish up my enrolment stuff -_- gotta visit the doctor for the whole medical checkup on monday!

Anyway. I went to the UOB bank tdy at Bukit Panjang Plaza :) Saw Kenny on my way there and whacked him on the arm. Ehehe xD okay so I had to queue like for half an hr or so before I could see the banker. And smth reeeeally interesting happened. There was this lady talking SUPER loudly to the banker, insisting that she didn't draw out a particular amount of money from her bank acc, yet it was missing. Everyone was seriously staring at her. She made a really big fuss and when she left, all the other bankers were giving each other the whatthepink? look. HAHAHA. Actually ah... I think bankers are scary and they want everything to be CHOP CHOP done!

Went to the supermarket after that to get a mango drink :) You know how supermarkets have signs that says 'Shampoo" or "Canned Food" and things like that to show what's on the shelves in that aisle right?

I saw a sign that said "Hobbies" so I looked curiously down that aisle and I saw.... SANITARY PADS on the shelves. And I was like... WHAT THE HECK?! o_o

And that's not all la. I walked past the lingerie section and I saw 3 old women giggling over a purple bra -_- I am really convinced that this world is really weird after all.

And I'm getting hooked on Ultraviolet again which is playing from Bainy's blog~ I think I wanna go watch Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging again :)

Okay so the usual tdy, CG at night (it ended early wow) and then Skip Beat on teevee! Waiting for the new EP subbed to be released on monday online 8D And Mei-chan no Shitsuji subbed tmr night! Then Bleach and ToGetHer subbed on wednesday! And thennnnn Bleach and all my other manga on friday :) YAY

Got this from my ex-teacher's blog and thought it was pretty funny! :) It would definately brighten up your day!

- LESSON 1:
A priest offered a nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF STORY:
If you are not well informed of your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

-LESSON 2:
A sales representative, an administrative clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales representative. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone.
"Ok, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in my office after lunch."

MORAL OF STORY:
Always let your boss have the first say.

- LESSON 3:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered, "Sure! Why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

MORAL OF STORY:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

- LESSON 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got any energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him down from the tree.

MORAL OF STORY:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

- LESSON 5:
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the ground, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

MORAL OF STORY:
Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
---

Happy TGIF everyone :) Have a great weekend!

when you believe.

2009-03-05T23:45:00.005+08:00

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill...

Miriam and the children of Israel prayed for many nights to God but those prayers seem to remain unanswered, and they wonder if they are wasting their time. Nevertheless, they realize that although times may be difficult, "there can be miracles when you believe" in God.

You will when you believe...

mag's little secret

2009-03-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

AHAHAHAHA I have proof that Mag wants to go after Francis!! :D :D :D click to enlarge! You won't regret clicking! Ehehehe.

Mag... you know, I'll always support you and yr decisions. I'm sure Francis would be a wonderful person to spend yr whole entire life with :) I hope you have a happy and fulfilling life with him! Wo yong yuan zhi chi ni!

Hee hee hee heeee this made my stomach hurt from laughing so much la xD

Random things.

2009-03-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

Quick update before I head for bed :) My head is pounding due to the lack of sleep and I might just zonk off on top of my laptop keyboard.

Went to Riverwalk tdy to hear a special sermon frm Pst Aries and I'm really excited for the next few weeks of outreaching for Easter! I really can't wait for Easter :D Saw CH at Riverwalk as well as Liz's old cg members and cgl. Ended at about 9 or so, and then we had Leaders' Meeting with Jo. It ended reeeeally late... like around 11pm~ My eyes were feeling like it's gonna close any moment and I had to force myself to stay awake and listen to Jo's voice x( w341 is really different now that a few of them had transferred over to help, and so many changes are gonna be implanted in here. I really hope I won't fall sick or be so busy to talk or go out with my members! This is such a critical time... and I really want to pull the cg together as one too :) A brand new connect group, new duties as one of the 5 pillars IC, and new revelation. Can't wait!

Woke up at 1230pm tdy and I had no idea why. I thought I would be up by 2pm or smth due to the fact I slept 6am in the morning and stayed up all night to talk to Lizzie. It was like 2am plus and I was on the phone plus talking to Rachel and Jeyun online plus taking down notes all at the same time. ): multi-tasking is such hard work. I actually repeated point 4 as point 2!! Ahh. But talking to Liz was pretty fun :) Ehehe.

Okay other than the stuff above plus the fact that I watched ToGetHer EP 3 tdy and talking on the phone with Rachel in the afternoon for 2hours, nothing really happened. And I need cash! I need to work! Building fund! Roar!

My sister told me yesterday morning that I was talking in my sleep and said "Why must it be me!" in the morning while she was preparing to go out. I found it awfully familiar... and then I realised that the whole i-wish-i-was-in-jc and i-feel-useless and why-must-it-be-me and i-should-have-done-so-and-so-then was what I was thinking before I went to bed that night. Plus Mag's emo blog song was... really depressing. Hahahaha but I think I'm over it anyway.

Before I forget, Happy 13th Birthday to Yujing! :)

Okay that's it, it's only 1am but I'm at my limit of staying awake. I must sleep before 12am (resolution!!) 'cause all these late nights has been causing uber outbreaks on my face ): okay byebyeee

twin butlers! :)

2009-03-02T00:31:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHH. :D :D :D :D :D :D

The twin butlers appeared in EP 7 of Mei-chan no Shitsuji! Tagaki Manpei and Tagaki Shinpei (or aka Akabane Ukon and Akabane Sakon in the drama) <3

Anyway I hope Mei ends up with Shibata Keito instead of the idiot butler Shibata Rihito :)

yay for weekends!

2009-03-01T23:22:00.006+08:00

Happy weekend everyone :) Lately I can't be bothered to update my weekdays... that's because NOTHING ever happens from tuesday to friday.

Cg outing to Esplanade yesterday was really quite fun even though I wasn't in the best of moods before I met up with Mag and the others. But depressing things don't really make a nice story so I shall just talk about my afternoon with w341 and w483 :) Was supposed to head down to East Coast but it was raining like nuts, so I suggested Marina Barrage thinking that the rain would stop by the time we reached Marina Bay stn. But life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to be, and it was still raining when we reach MB. ): Headed to Esplanade to have our picnic and there was really lots of foooooooooooood ehehehe.

Mag was trying to freak me out by touching me all over (touchy touchy no no, sorry my love lang. isn't physical touch :D) and yes, I was trying to escape from her while Jeyun snapped the above picture!

Mag and I were like posing for Wenkai as he took the picture LOL. We were trying to get him to take us... but failed la. :D

AHAHAHA they all look funny :D especially Jeyun in the second pictureeeeee hurhur.

Jeyun claims Wenkai looks like a china guy like that... I beg to differ. I think Kai will look like an awesome kickass guy with a leather jacket and black shades on :) His hair is totally THE biker dude baddie look manxxxx.

And he claims it's his eyes that makes him look cheena. Ehehhee.

We just thought Wesley looks really funny with his legs sticking out and stomach lying on the floor. He was making all those cutesy funny posers but didn't manage to take them I think. (Gotta double check with Mag hoho)

Okay lol. This shot was supposed to be a funny one 'cos we wanted to make Rachel looked as if she was the odd one out by all squatting down when Kai said "THREE!!" but was epic fail 'cos Rachel was like "If you guys wanted to take picture with me high and you guys low I wouldn't mind..." -_- Noooooo we wanted to prank and the prank was backfired to us ): HAHAHA

Okay so anyway, service tdy was pretty entertaining (relationships part 3!) and I really liked the drama :) This was the last week w341 sat together before a few of them transfer over to w483 ): I'm gonna miss Ladylene and all her "You know my classmate..." jokes, Joselin's really random outbursts like burping in the weirdest times, Jasmine's "I like my hair!", Wenquan's absolute stonage, and Wesley's gay and extremely ticoh looks. HAHAHAHA :D

Ah well. It's like what I told Wes... you'll have more potential to rise up in w483 than in w341 :) so grow more, love more, and go all HIGH MORE!!

Tdy's BS with Ladylene was really wet. xD Went up to rooftop to give BS 'cos it was so packed in the Cafe, but it was raining so heavily that rain sprayed in (and we were like sitting in the middle can) and wet us. Then the thunder came and Ladylene went "Kezia... can I wear my jacket?" with a really pleeeeeease look on her face. Lol much. But! Managed to finish BS and she understood everything so yeeeeeeesah~

Went down to Cafe and found the cg on those high seats (you know those kinds you see at bars? we have those at my church lol) and got some hot choc drink that tastes really good when you're freezing cold in the aircon :) Started teaching Weijuan CHEMISTRY (HAHAHAHA) and you know surprisingly I can still remember my formulaes, convalent and ionic bonding (major thanks to bai who drilled that in my head), and all those moley moles.

It is quite an achievement to still remember my science okay! :D Considering I had a C5 in Chem, I was seriously wondered if Weijuan REALLY wanted to learn from me you know. And then she told me she had F9 in it, I was like "HEY FRIEND!!" She looooooves writing and humanities and arts tooooooo. My partner in crime x) Hurhurhurrrr.

And I didn't even realised Jeyun took this photo -_- I look very... serious. HAHAHAAAA

Anyway... We manage to complete the MCQs + SEQ for her homework, so it was fruitful :) I love my cell group they're nice and fun people who aren't fake and aren't afraid to show their weaknesses and willing to learn from their mistakes! I wouldn't want my cell group members to be fake ): That'll be the worst thing ever. But they are all pretty cool people in their own ways :)

Okay off to watch Mei-chan no Shitsuji EP 7! :)

thoughts

2009-02-26T13:40:00.004+08:00

Will you forsake ALL... and look forward to the top of that mountain?
Climbing up that high mountain
even if it means doing it without the people around you...
Leaving behind all that hold dear to you
leaving behind so many people...
Pressing on even when no one is doing it...
Being focused when everyone else isn't...

Because when you reach the peak of the mountain
You'll find a view more beautiful than no other.

That makes EVEYTHING worth it.

But... it all comes down to this: Will you forsake ALL?

some bears like to secretly moo in their caves! :)

2009-02-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA auditions were like a disaster :/ I was so freaking nervous, I totally haven't been to such auditions before but ahhh what the heck I had fun :D Even though I know I probably won't get chosen or smth... but it was still quite the experience! And the place is actually quite nice as well. Nice chairs, nice lamp, nice wallpaper! :D Hoho.

Shopped at Bugis Junct. & Bugis St. after the auditions with Liz and we ate like so much food ): Bet I've gained weight or smth. That's not gooooooood I gotta go jog! Anyway went to the Sony shop and omg omg omg omg I saw an even better camera than the T77! $600 la, and it has bigger screen! So gonna get that... just need $300 more. Hahaha :D Saw Fish Leong (HAHAHA china inside joke) and then took a loooong rest at Macs 'cos my legs were hurting. HAHA. Talked lots with Liz about so many things and I really feel so motivated to change myself and change others for the better! :D

Oh yes that reminds me. Got a pretty cool watch (like finally) so that I can keep track of time :) Mom got me a black skirt from S&K too! Plus black and grey cotton leggings. Yeeessssssaaaaaaah :D More clothes! Now I just gotta get that rainbow clouds jacket I saw today... Poly's gonna be fun ;D

I hope I can really rise up during this period of time and help Rachel with w341 even though her time will be taken up by w483 members... :) Not because I want status or name, but I wanna see my cell group grow and mature! Even if strong winds and storms come, the younger members still won't be swayed away :) They'll be people who love God more than everrrrrr. Just like how 2 Kings 3 talk about preparing for increase, I want to equip and train my little sheep that has been given to me! :D

Need to get my gears working woohoo :) That means an early night and a fresh new day tomorrow to do more fruitful and productive things! Bye-bi~

crazy conversations :)

2009-02-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

Had an drama audition request via Lizzie from Okto :) Shall head down to the venue tmr together with her (whom I've not met in agesssss) and try it out! No harm trying right? :) Who knows someone might see a hidden talent in me and cast me in some other shows in channel 5 or something. HAHAHA. Okto's pretty cool to me. I won't despise small beginnings!

Been sleeping so much, I have to sleep earlier and not take so many naps in the afternoon. ): I feel so piggish. I need to work! Jeyunnnn when are we gonna call the manager! My mom's pretty annoyed that I'm always wasting my time at home on the computer or sleeping. Geez.

And Sarah's really funny!

Sarah says:

Go out? What day? I might be going to Malaysia that week...

kezia (cinnamon!) we take sour sips from life's lush lips says:

probably wednesday or tuesday with bai lee ally carlos to eeeeat

Sarah says:

Did I just hear the word eat? Okay sure! :D

kezia (cinnamon!) we take sour sips from life's lush lips says:

....

Anyways. Nothing much these few days... guess I'll update again in a few days time. Hurhur. :D Okay off for QT! Gotta rest early tonight as well :) BYEBIIII

rainbow kites

2009-02-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

My favourite cup broke today):

Back from DG! I'm supposed to call into Kang Wei's phone at 6am for prayer conference tmr morning... that is really pro-ness la :) When we were out fellowshipping he was so excited about morning prayer conferences, the rest of the DGs were like "Too early la too early" and Daryl was enjoying himself asking Kang Wei if he would like to go down to his house 4am for prayer meeting -_- And Kang Wei actually said yes! Hahahaha he has a lot of faith :D Oh oh oh and then Kang Wei told us his dog story at the playground which was seriously hilarious. I was laughing like crazy can. LOL but everyone was really really funny and I enjoyed the fellowship :D

DG has been reduced to about 9 people ): Many are called but few are chosen... but thank God Arabelle is still in the same DG group! GO DG 2! Whooooo

Okay I wanna post green shirt guy's backview here! (hahaha jeyun)

There was this green shirt guy that Jeyun saw in the mrt station! She thought he looked cute :D I didn't even get to see the face la, was busy talking on the phone. LOL so I'm calling out to all the guys who wore a green polo tee and black bermudas and carried a Crumpler bag that was walking around at Tanjong Pajar mrt stn (i think) at approx 915pm to 930pm on saturday night! WE ARE LOOKING FOR YOU! :)

Actually I just wanna see how the guy looks like... -_-

Okay anyway, got my NYP letter! (or rather enrolment guide) I didn't understand whatever that is typed in there 'cept for the map around NYP so I just threw it aside and thought "I'll think about it tomorrow." Ehehehe.

Dang I'm feeling really sleepy... should I just stay up till 5am or take a looooong nap now ):

kites! :)

2009-02-22T19:53:00.005+08:00

Okay lol, it's past midnight but I'm going to blog and edit the previous post :) If you have managed to see what I blogged in that last 4 hrs, good for you. HAHAHA.

Okay firstly, Jeyun this doesn't look retarded okay! You don't look unglam, I promised not to upload any unglam photos here :D Ehehehe. Shall upload all on FB though :D

Went kite flying at Marina Barrage yesterday :) It was really really funnnn! And thank God the weather was nice and cool, I was afraid it was going to rain or something. But there wasn't much sun (good thing or else we'll be sweaty and uncomfortable hehe) and it was super windy! The place was really nice as well, Jeyun and I both got a spot facing the sea and the Singapore Flyer :D We were both staring the at the flyer and wondering if it was moving la. Hahahha

We saw other people flying kites toooooo can you believe it. There was like a butterfly kite, a LION KITE WHOO, a batman kite :D, PANDA KITE!!, rainbow kites like mine, dragonfly kite, bee kite, and the Indian couple kite. :D HAHAHAHA.

I think I should make more sandwiches next time :D

Even kites fall ): Mine was weird, it kept having temperamental issues and flew a little haywire before dropping to the ground. Got the kite up 3 times in the air! Time check when me and yun tried to let it catch the wind for the last time was 6pm... it just didnt want to get up we tried to make it fly for an hour!! Then I realised the string from the middle part became unattached that's why it didn't fly up -_- And then finally at 715 or so the kite flewwwwwww for the last time on saturday evening :D

I don't mind going there again for picnic + kite flying! It's real fun... wanna join me anyone? :D

Okay so anyway, I got home late yesterday and was really tired but slept like at 2am ): Woke up this morning at 830am for make up cell group at church. That's like 6 and 1/2 hrs of sleep only can. Reached church 930am on the dot (had to ask my dad to send me down so I wouldn't be late) and then I found out that cg has been changed to 10am instead. Was pretty peeved but then God wouldn't want me to show a black face 'cos it wouldn't help change anything anyway. So I tried my best to put on a good countanance :) Sat up at the rooftop for half an hour trying to get my eyes to open and not be tired while looking at my bs book. After a while I realised nothing sank in and my eyes were closing ): Got really worried that I would fall asleep during cg so I prayed for a little while... and thank God I survived hehehe :)

Now I'm pretty much awake after my 3hr nap, but its 2am now and I can't sleep -_-

And now I'm hooked on concert performaces and recitals and Aerith's Theme played by Tour de Japon, composed by Nobou Uematsu :) That guy's a major genius. Whooo. Got take a listen if you got the time. It's great :)

Okay now I'm off to do something like watch Jdramas :D Ehehehe

27.

2009-02-21T12:36:00.004+08:00

I've got a lot of friends who are stars

But some are just black holes

- 27 by Fall Out Boy.

Now I understand why some left church. And it's our fault.

jdrama :)

2009-02-19T18:53:00.004+08:00

Mei-chan no Shitsuji Jdrama! :)

The guy that plays the S-rank butler is the same guy that acted as Namba-sempai in Hana Kimi Japan! Although I think his role in the latter suits his better, but this Jdrama is actually quite nice :) Can you see the hot twin butlers in the picture! Extreme right hand side! They're real twins in real life actually. Tagaki Manpei and Tagaki Shinpei. Hahahaha but the white butler Shinobu is the best :) Although he has a really bad personality in the show. Ah well.

Storyline goes like this... Shinonome Mei-san's (or -chan if you prefer) parents died in a fire that burned their udon house/shop down. The butler Shibata Rihito, who has been appointed to serve her, shows up one day and tells her she's the heir of the Hongo Family. She is forced to transfer to St. Lucia Girls' Academy, where all the students have butlers. Which is pretty cool. :D Mei-san meets this student called Lucia-sama (her real name is Hongo Shiori) and finds out that she is outstanding in all aspects, and also a heir to the Hongo Family. Thus both of them fights it out to be the successor :) Shiori plays dirty to get the role of the heir, and her butler Shinobu (kyahhhh :D) creates ways and means for Mei-san to be expelled or hated by her classmates.

But the hero, or in this case heroine, always wins and Shiori gets found out by certain students she had made used of eg. Mamahara Miruku and Ryuonji Izumi. They help Mei-san and she wins. (in the end) Shiori suckszxxzxs. Eheheeheh.

I hope Ep 6 subbed will come out sooooon :) Totally different plot from the manga itself but still niceeeeee. It's worth watching really.

ugh.

2009-02-18T20:43:00.003+08:00

OMG why can't you just throw your pride away?! Why! Why! Why!

love and truth (yui)

2009-02-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

Back from DG fellowship with Jo and the other DG people :) I smell nice after having a bath! (HAHA bainy) Had dinner at some shop I've never been before near Mind's Cafe and we talked quite a lot with Jo :) She told us all about her travels to Paris, London, NY, America and now I know that Paris actually isn't a very romantic place like how so many people have assumed. Sure, there's the Eiffel Tower but the queue there is uber long. And in their subway, there are people who plays the violin! Think that's romantic? Think again. Those people stop after a few seconds and then ask for money to continue. Seriously, I rather go to NY :)

Got interviewed by The Straits Time people when we were outside Plaza Sing... they had cameras and everything! Uberly kewwwl :D The person came up to me and then I was like "Er, I'm with those people." and then she asked Andy and Arabelle to come over. HAHAHA. Asked us about a couple of questions about the rising trend of teenage sex. And then the reporter asked "So d'you go to people other than your school teachers to know about sex?" and then we're said family, friends or church people... and then Andy omg was so funny. He went "I have a couple of friends that wants to try it out, but when I heard that, I actually scolded them!" then the reporter started laughing. HAHAHHAHAHA ftw (^-^)Y

Anyway, was talking to Arabelle on the way back home from Dhoby Ghaut and I do agree with her about certain points. Like how the feeling of betrayal is never hard to forget, and the million and one things they hide from us. And then there's the annoying feeling of others being nosy and poking into things people are reluctant to say.

Seriously, there's a time for everything. Even the bible says that. Geez.

Part 2 of Pst Kong's sermon yesterday was really funny and I remembered Linda telling us about how she should take up some of Daryl's fave sports to fulfil Men's Need No. 2: Recreational Companionship :) Daryl suggested Muay Thai! HAHAHA Linda's bones would probably break in the first minute lol. And then Serena asked me how I would like a guy to propose to me -_- Seriously, is that a Valentine's Day thing that's going arnd?! Hurhur.

And I really appreciate a special friend of mine that talks to me via MSN or text even after we're off to different schools after O levels :) I mean, she's really busy yet she still makes time and effort to talk. How nice is that! Although I have no idea if she reads my blog, but if she does... Thank you for being a great friend :)

And I really have to get to sleep earlier, I miss the early mornings when I woke up and the sky was dark and then it turned blue and then finally yellow :) The morning sky is niceeee and the air smells nice too. Ehehehe. Okay off to bed, see you around!

valentine's.

2009-02-14T23:31:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine's everyone :)

Vday just seems like another day to me. Although when I met Gabriel and Rachel to visit Ck I saw lots of couples. And very odd ones too... like the girl is really short and the guy's like two heads taller. I wonder how chan chan spent hers HAHAHA. (inside secret)

So anyway, gave Mag her LO but didn't have a scanner to scan it for a better quality picture but oh wells. Hahaha the one above is good enough :) It was super funny last tuesday when I went to buy the materials at MWL. I overheard a few GUYS going "Hey you think she'll like this? I can't decide... help me decide. Should I get this or this or both?" I seriously wanted to laugh. Hurhur.

I forgot what I wanted to blog about -_- aiya.

Oh oh oh yeah. I got a pretty cool London notebook from Mag (tyvm, ni hen hao) but now I have lots of notebooks. Hahaha but they're pretty and really cool.

I feel funny today, I seem to sleep a lot but still tired out. And I'm still not used to having a domestic helper in the house (I refuse to use the word maid) I come back home and find my bed tidied up -_- And the house looks very neat and clean too. I feel really bad when someone has to warm up my food and serve me for dinner.

Am I supposed to feel bad?! I've been raised not to be spoilt and get my own food + tidy up my own room, not used to this at all...

Anyway. Gabriel watches ANTM -_- I didn't know guys watched that. With the exception of MarcusK :) But then I realised ANTM is actually a faved show by a certain someone, and you connect a few links and you get your answer why Gab watches antm. HAHAHA sorry ah Gabriel, I just had to post this up here. I find it a bit hilarious.

My brother has been very nice today :) He came home and he asked if I would like some chocolate cake! Chocolate you know! So I happily ate my slice and then he commented that he couldn't eat the cake and didn't want to waste it, so he gave it to me. And then I felt like a rubbish bin. -_- HAHAHA.

Went out with Jeyun and Debra ytd to catch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at The Cathay. We went to watch the movie at the Grand Cathay and OMG the theatre so BIG la! Big and red and gold and the seats were really comfy :) Overall the movie was an okayish kind of movie... but like no moral ending -_- Like you know some movies the couple falls in love in the end or the good guys win, but this one was seriously unrealistic. I mean, who is born as an old guy and dies a baby?! But Brad Pitt doesn't look bad when he was in his teenager yrs. :) But he's all blond and jeans and motorcycles... so not my type pffft. It's a nice movie to watch if you have the time though. The movie was like 3 hours long sheesh.

I took a bus down to City Hall (55 cents!) to meet the both of them before the movie started, and then I passed by PJC and thought I should play a joke on lee, bai and carlos. Bainy believed meeeeeee :) And Carlos was like so unresponsive. HAHAHAHA.

Ah well. I think I'm funny la can :)

Okay! There you go, an update of what happened in my life this past two days. Now I'm tired and want to head off for bed. Byebi~

You Found Me

2009-02-11T13:42:00.007+08:00

You Found Me - The Fray

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All along
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

Chorus:
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

Chorus

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
----

I finally finished the LO for mag's present! :) My first time doing it and it's pretty good! Spent over $50 on materials itself... really burnt a hole in my pocket man. But I'm really satisfied 'cos it really looks nice (for a first timer) and GUESS WHAT. My brother said it looked nice too :D Can you believe it! Getting a compliment from my brother is like the sun rising from the west to the east. Hurhur.

Shall post it up soon :) The picture of the LO of course. Can't do it now... Mag spies on my blog everyday x(

Something really funny happened yesterday :D I was rushing over to Riverwalk to meet Jo and I was actually late by like, a few minutes or something. But being late isn't good, even if it's just a few seconds! I was practically running up the escalators. I reached the front entrance of the... place (I forgot what's the name) and didn't really notice the people around. I walked REALLY QUICKLY through the glass doors and then someone went, "Hi Kezia!" I turned and then I saw Wenkai and I stopped in my tracks for a split second before giving him a punch on his arm and exclaimed really loudly, "OMG I thought I was late la!" And then I continued walking like nothing was wrong. It was only when I saw Kang Wei waiting together with the other leaders then I realised that... I ACTUALLY HIT A CGL OMG. I felt really bad after that. Ahahaha.

Had changes in my connect group once again... well at least Ladylene's in now. It's so much easier to see and help her grow like that. Bible study this week yay, finally I'm giving. Can't wait :)

I want to do more scrapbooking!! But materials are really so expensive... I need dough!

And I need more excitement in life. Staying at home isn't really all that fun. Can't wait for poly to start (and me learning animation! :) Storyboarding! University! All for the greater good) in April which sounds really far away. I might have to resort to reading my old science textbooks and history notes. Hahahahaha. And excitement doesn't mean having an anonymous person tagging on my tagboard, that's just him being deprived. Geez.

Okay bed, I'm tired :)

ah well.

2009-02-10T14:53:00.004+08:00

Some people like to act smart and think they know everything and try to be "right" all the time. Who are we to decide what is "right" and what is "wrong"? Insufferable know-it-all. At the end of the day, what do you hope to achieve? A sadistic feeling of seeing the victim suffer and made to feel inferior? I'm not one that gives you that satisfaction.

If you're feeling guilty now then yes, I am referring to you.

rainbow unicorns.

2009-02-09T23:29:00.004+08:00

I know the post heading has nothing to do with the post itself... but I just felt like putting it as it is. Haha.

Prayer meeting this morning was good :) Although I do hope for the next 4 days I'll would be able to concentrate better, I've been too distracted lately. Everytime I think of distractions when praying, I'll remember Pst Meng's little drama of the many ways the devil will tempt you to lose focus :) It's really funny. Didn't go for the evening one (although I told myself I had to) and I felt really bad I couldn't meet up with Ladylene. Anyway after the morning prayer meeting I felt really annoyed at my sister... sometimes I don't understand how people can be so insensitive. What's worse is that they're insensitive AND oblivious to it at the same time. Pffft.

Well whatever.

I realised I really miss writing drama scripts for my cell group (and short stories) after finishing the script for Jerald. Those days where I could write and write and write and write... maybe I should start it up again since I do nothing but laze around at home. Letting the creative storylines flow and words to come out so easily. I should really start subscribing for Readers' Digest again. Sometimes it'll have little writing competitions that's really fun :)

I shall get out of the house tmr and have some fresh air before heading to Leaders' Mtg. Plus I need to get a few materials from MWL for Valentine's :) I really want to do some scrapbooking and thank God I still have some dough from CNY angpaos. Ehehehe.

'Kay it's late and there's pm again tmr morning, so I'm off to bed :) Bye-bi~

manga and anime <3

2009-02-08T23:24:00.007+08:00

Skip Beat! Ever since Lydia told me about the manga in class, I'm been reading the online manga scans each month as a new chapter is released :) Episode 18 will be out tmr as well, yesssssssssah :D

Stories in manga don't normally come true right? After all... they're comics and purely fiction. I think I shouldn't read so much manga and get addicted on it. Hurhur.

D'you know cinnamon means Love? :) Hee

Velonica.

2009-02-07T14:48:00.012+08:00

Well everyone knows I love Japanese music :) This is one of Bleach's openings... and the best so far actually.

My temperature has been dropping (oh thank God) and I actually slept halfway thru Skip Beat yesterday night. I must be really tired. Either that or my body has gone crazy.

I drank a whole kettle of water yesterday! And I want to go to Marina Barrage and have a picnic + fly kite :)

randoms.

2009-02-06T13:20:00.002+08:00

Man I sounded like a kid in the last post -_- Rant rant rant.

My sister has decided to psycho me into NYP's Foreign Bodies cca (dance dance) 'cause she's from there. Apparently she loves dance... But everyone knows drama is so much more <3

Ehehehe. Okay anyway the fever hasn't subsided much (in fact I think my temp rose), I'm still coughing my lungs out and still feeling like crap. ): Hopefully I'll get better soon, in time for service this week!

Digital Media Design... how on earth I ended up putting that as my 2nd choice I have no idea.

just BECAUSE.

2009-02-05T20:31:00.004+08:00

I feel like crap. So I'm going to whine and brawl and be a kid just because I WANT TO.

I hate this stupid flu/fever/cough rubbish and I seriously hope it'll be over soon. Why on earth is my body so weak! Did nothing the entire day 'cept sleep and cough out phlegm and blood (nah kidding about the blood OMG WHERE THE HELL IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR I think I threw it out of the window) and bum around in the house. By now you'll probably know how annoyed I am because of the freaking flu.

Last night was HORRID. Woke up every hour to cough my lungs out and to make my breathing sound normal. I think I sounded like having an asthma attack. Wheezing and panting and my lungs felt like it's gonna rip out of my chest. Woke up 530am (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, 530!!!) and got to the kitchen where my mom very nicely gave me food and medicine and listen to me complain about my night.

Woke up again at 9am to have my throat feeling sore and gritty and like it's been through the fire. So obviously today wasn't the best of days and I feel extremely feverish, annoyed, very tired and freezing cold. Cough cough cough I bet my throat is as red as BLOOD.

Maybe partly why I'm so annoyed that I'm sick is 'cos I'm missing the COC and CG prayer conferences at night! I am so very irritated, I wish I could just call in and pray and cast the sickness away but I can't even finish a sentence without my throat hacking and me coughing like crazy.

I feel really negative right now. (-) (-) (-) Like I'm swimming in negatism.

I WANT TO BE WELL NOW! So that I won't miss CG and SVC this week.... ):

don't like my flu ):

2009-02-04T21:06:00.004+08:00

I think it's a joy to make the little ones happy... you'll feel a sense of achievement and fulfilment when you see them laughing and enjoying themselves. At least that's what I think.

Did nothing today except sleep (a lot) with the cold pack on my forehead, watched Hana Yori Dango and Bleach and Teen Titans, read some mangas online, talked to carlos on msn (he ponned school that ponner HAHAHA okay kidding), coughed a lot, sneezed a lot, used a lot of tissues and still feel really sick ):

And I found out that I'm the only one in my school clique that's going to NYP. Ly, Bai and Carlos are at PJC, Chan and Ally heading off to NP... Kezia's all aloneeeeee. HAHAHAHA oh well. ): New beginnings won't be so bad I guess.

My nose feels like a leaking tap.

And it's time for me to get some more rest. I really feel like crap ):

that's why I love English :)

2009-02-03T11:02:00.006+08:00

the title says it all. extremely sweet!

thanks to a special friend that made me smile :)

Had my dose of panadol and it's time to chase after my nose. Bye-bi :)

update.

2009-02-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

After doing those ridiculous jumps at the rooftop yesterday after service while Wesley played his guitar, my calf muscles are now aching like crazy. ):

And this is the photo I mentioned during the cny post :) Well obviously you can see which of the 3 women above is my grandmother! (DUH) She's pretty cool right :D Showed this photo around to my aunts and uncles and they were seriously shocked. Apparently they've never seen her like that. Hahahaha this is ftw Y(^-^)Y

Bus and trains fares are starting to seriously BURN a hole in my pocket. Ever since my student card expired, I had to pay the annoying adult fare whenever I travel. And I can't get train or bus consessions until I get the poly student card! This seriously kinda sucks 'cos I take the train + bus every week to church and its no joke having to pay like $5 on transport alone on sunday ): Gah.

It's only February now but I can't wait for Easter Productions in church this yr :) Random thought... but I really hope to get a role again! :)

Anyway. Work work work. Need to fulfil building fund soon. Ah well. Oh yes. Hello to all people posted to NYP, I'll be seeing you soon! Come to think of it... there's actually quite a lot of people I know in church that's from NYP. Hahaha

Okay this week would probably be a busy one as I write for the story competition in church! I don't really feel the need to win... I just wanna get the experience :) Ah okay pretty tired out, off to sleep!

And as Belphegor aka Prince the Ripper from KHR would say, "Bye-bi!" And ends of with his Shi-shi-shi kind of laugh that's reeeeally cute :D Hahahaha

service day :)

2009-02-01T23:52:00.004+08:00

As usual, service today was fab :) Pst Kong continued his 2-part sermon on God and Ancient China... and I am once again amazed and awed by my God! Cultural mandate, penetrating into the soceity, being invited in the 3rd space, changing those at the top... it has always been in motion after all :)

And I have Jeyun's unglam pictures HAHAHA :D We started playing around with Jasmine's princess hairband thingy (spot it in the two pictures if you can, it's extremely hard to find) while queueing up at staircase 6 before service :) She had chocolate sweets and didn't share with me during service ):

After service I went off to my Mom's cg member's house for steamboat dinner :) I feel like I've been having so much steamboat lately... but the food today was hen hao. Played Monopoly with her children after that and the monopoly board was pretty cool :D IT WAS A SPONGEBOB MONOPOLY BOARD SO CUTE CAN HAHAHA. Anyway, I totally owned Valerie at the end of the game and succeeded in earning much more money than she did :) Plus I made her lose A LOT of her money when she passed by my hotels at the pink, yellow and red houses hoho. Total amount of mono-money I made plus properties I owned was like 10,000 or something. Ehehehe it was really fun! :)

Okay well, tmr's going to be a busy day and I'm off to have a good night's sleep! Bye-bi~

results.

2009-01-30T16:44:00.004+08:00

Life sucks, and then you die.

Yeah, I should be so lucky.

(Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn Pg 143)

Ah well. Que sera sera. No use moping and feeling like crap 'cos nothing's gonna change. Crying's not going to solve anything anyway. There's always a reason and a time for everything. My talents won't be wasted away. There'll be a future somewhere somehow.

hana yori dango!

2009-01-28T15:20:00.006+08:00

Hana Yori Dango... the korean version! :) FINALLY I found a website to watch this from!

I never thought that there'll be a korean version coming out, but apparently they just started airing at the beginning of this month! I really liked the Japanese Version (Well duh, Oguri Shun acted as Rui! HAHA) but the korean one is quite nice actually :)

And the guy acting as Yoon Ji Hoo (aka Hanazawa Rui) is Kim Hyun Joong! :DDD Really really hot and good looking HAHAHA. It's the guy with brown hair in the picture above btw. He should really get together with the lead actress... but obviously she'll end up with the curly hair Goo Joon Pyo aka Domyoji Tsukasa :) Ah well, maybe Joon Pyo will grow on me as I watch the rest of the episodes, just like how Domyoji did. Haha!

Kim Hyun Joong!! <3

Apparently he's the leader of the Korean boyband SS501 :) I shall listen to their songs after watching ep 6! Which is the lastest ep that was released a few days ago I think. Yay

Go watch it if you have the time!

And last but not least, Happy 17th Birthday to Alicia Koh! I hope you had a very happy birthday today :)